Three Packs or Nothing

When it comes to drugs, you have to weigh your options.

The following is based on a real conversation.

Me: Look. I’m not an expert. But you should see a shrink. Maybe you have ADHD, maybe something else. But you’re f**ked if you don’t do something about it now. At least if you get a diagnosis, you’ll get some medication.

Him: Yeah. I know. You’re right.

Me: I’m not trying to be a prick. I’m telling you something’s wrong. But now that you know, you can’t pretend you don’t know. Look. The past is done. You can change what tomorrow is like.

Two weeks later.

Me: How’re you doing. Get to see a shrink?

Him: No. But I’ve been thinking about it.

Me: What else is going on.

Him: The usual. My wife was pissed when I got back. I slept on the couch.

Me: What about a journal. Trying to get the thoughts out of your head. Did you try it?

Him: Not really.

Me: Just do it. Even if all you write is like ‘I woke up. I brushed my teeth. I ate breakfast. Blah blah blah.’ You need to get the voices out of your head.

Him: I know……(long pause)…..I know.

Me: You sound pretty tired.

Him: I went out with my buddies the other night. Too much scotch. I have a shot and then I’m on my fourth.

Me: You’re like an addict, like me. I wish I could smoke four cigarettes a day like my great aunt did. But I can’t. It’s three packs a day or nothing. I don’t know moderation. You’re the same. Get used to it.

Him: And….(long pause)….did a few lines of coke.

Me: I told you for two hours. You look for a dopamine rush. Instead of coke, get out of the house. Run for twenty minutes. You’ll get a rush. If you get addicted to running, big deal. You’ll lose weight.

Him: Yeah, I know. (pause) But I don’t want to see a shrink. He’ll give me pills. I don’t want to depend on them the rest of my life.




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  • Gina Pera

    Hey, I love the people who say they don’t like putting medication into their bodies — but they don’t mind Scotch and cocaine.

    I just can’t imagine you smoking, Jeff. Smoking hot? Yes. But smoking cigarettes?

    • Jeffs ADD Mind

      I’m almost laughed my a** off when he said he didn’t want to depend on drugs. Of course, there’s your answer to the other drug problem. Make cocaine, heroin, marijuana legal, make people go to a doctor to get a prescription for it and, most importantly, let Big Pharma manufacture/grow all of it, and people will say, “I don’t want to depend on drugs the rest of my life.”

      ” Smoking hot?” – Perhaps you haven’t looked closely at the little icon picture of me. ;)

      “But smoking cigarettes?” – I was a heavy smoker. Stopped twice. Second time was about six or seven years ago. Both times I stopped was when I was hitting the three-packs-per-day mark.

  • Katy R.

    Sweet Baby James. Well I’ll just skip over the whole “I don’t want to take drugs because I’d rather take drugs” thing and skip to you making a great point about how once you KNOW you have a problem, you can’t ignore it. Yup. Once you are consciously ignoring it, you are living a whole new can of worms….

    • Jeffs ADD Mind

      ” a whole new can of worms” – Yup. You can’t (really) unknow what you know.

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