The Gift Of….


We’ve been told there is “The Gift of A.D.D.” and, what was recently brought to my attention, “The Gift of Dyslexia.” All this discussion about ailments really being gifts has made me rethink my opinion concerning this issue. Perhaps I’ve been too critical of this “gift” concept. Perhaps other things are really a gift in disguise. In light of this personal epiphany, I’ve decided to revisit various ailments to see what they would look like if they were considered to be gifts.

The Gift of Diverticulitis: This gift can help you maintain your weight by making it impossible to enjoy many of your favorite foods. In fact, it may make it impossible to enjoy ANY food. What a wonderful gift for the weight-conscious!

The Gift of Alzheimer’s: Too often this is viewed as a negative – loss of short-term memory; inability to care for oneself; loss of control over bodily functions. But there is a positive side to Alzheimer’s. The loss of short-term memory is replaced with memories from the past. Thus your 80 year old grandmother may not remember to eat her meals but now she remembers the wonderful times she had as a child. She is happy again.


The Gift of Polio: It’s a shame that we’ve eradicated polio in the United States. Thankfully it still exists in some other countries. Polio is nature’s way of being creative, of inventing new ways to walk around. (See image above.)

The Gift of Juvenile Diabetes: This is actually the perfect gift for children. It forces them to do what they should be doing anyway, namely, watching what they eat, getting regular exercise and becoming dependent on various drugs created by Big Pharma.

{ ===== //\ ===== }

I think the lesson here is quite clear. Stop looking at your afflictions as negatives. Instead, look for the gift that hides within. It may take a lot of creativity to find the silver lining but, rest assured, it’s hiding there underneath your cancer cells.

BRB Jesus

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  • Katy B.


    I just want to advocate for Satan for a minute though, bear with me…I actually totally get where you’re coming from about the obnoxiousness of the “total gift mentality” about ADHD, because heaven knows ADHD kicks me in the head on a daily basis. However…sometimes I DO find it helpful for very practical purposes to recognize that some of my ADHD induced ridiculousness can be channeled for good–or at least that being honest about it can help me make more realistic choices in my life. For example…I know that I’m better with big pictures and systems creations than with daily details. Part A is good…Part B is god-damned inconvenient. When hiring for my office am I going to hire someone who is like me? Or am I going to hire someone whose skills are complementary, so that we can tackle the job as a team? We hired a detail person. Doesn’t mean I never have to deal with details…just means that we’ve planned realistically…and that everyone’s strengths AND weaknesses are accounted for.

    No need to blow sunshine up anyone’s bums or anything…but focusing on the positive can sometimes help you make more realistic choices about dealing with relative inadequacies :) I don’t think it’s focusing on the positive that’s the problem, it’s focusing ONLY on the positive that is unrealistic horsesh*t…but…maybe I’m being redundant…lol…

  • Katy B.

    Oh and can we add to the list “The Gift of No Effing Common Sense”? We struggled with that with our last office assistant and it left me thinking “um, I have ADHD and make better decisions than you…this is a problem…”.

    Oh but wait, having no common sense made it possible for her to make it really obvious that she was a bad fit for our office…so it really was a gift ;)

  • Jeff


    I’m in complete agreement with you. Focusing ONLY on the positive (whether there is such a “positive” is another story) is the real problem because it can blind you to the very real negatives that need to be addressed.

    You have a wonderful blog, by the way. I love the name “18 Channels.”

  • Katy B.

    If ADHD was all positive and wasn’t impairing us at all, we wouldn’t all be running around looking for ways to “fix” it…there is a lot of variance of course in the ways people are affected and some clearly have a harder time than others obviously…we all have our trials though :)

    Thanks re: blog…I realized that I have the ability to articulate my experience in an accessible way and that’s not something everyone is able to do…because of that, I feel it’s very important that I share my experience. There’s a lot of people having opinions out there about what ADHD is an isn’t. More voices from the “inside” need to be heard. Plus, I get so much from reading about other people’s experiences that it’s only fair to return the favor ;)

  • Scott Hutson

    So many gifts of A.D.D.! I could write a book about it,if I could remember where I put all the stuff I wrote about it. But it’s hard to remember stuff, when you have 28 chidren running all over the house because you forgot where you put the new condoms and used the old ones that you forgot were re-called by the condom comanpany.

    Lots more gifts to tell about, but I can’t remember what they are.

    Scott. (I think thats my name)

  • Crimson

    That’s just too funny LOL
    Katy – Amen to the “No need to blow sunshine up anyone’s bums” as to the “gift” aspect, there’s alot of sunshine going around these days, and to me (and this is only my PERCEPTION) it’s just a way to defy reality and gloss over the “negative” aspects – one way to sleep at night I guess!
    One definiton of “gift” is a special ability or capacity; natural endowment; talent … I don’t think I would define ADD as a gift. It has ‘gifts” associated with it, it also has detriments or disadvantages. To find a balance between the two, to find some sense of harmony, I truly think would be benefical to both my husband and my son.
    The “negative” aspects, which would be beneficial in certain jobs and/or situations, cannot be turned on and off at will (generally!) and usually aren’t helpful towards achieving a stable, secure family unit, emtional bonds, work situations, or romantic relationships….I mean, hey, war movies are not foreplay, hyperfocus on everything but me, and disjointed conversations do not a happy couple make!!! This, mind you, is all my perception!
    Please, just look me in the eye once in a while so I know you’re on the planet with me and that I’m important……

  • betsy davenport, phd

    Speaking of gifts –
    There is the gift of a headache, which affords one an afternoon in a darkened room from time to time.

    And the gift of a nosebleed, which tints one’s clothes pink.

    And the gift of tooth decay, which enables a person to befriend a dentist!

    Good lord. WHat is next?

  • Scott Hutson

    To me, it’s like when I bought a compound miter saw w/a “lifetime Gaurantee” that came w/a gift..a crappy plastic level,that was warped…can’t return that “Gift”. But the miter saw works great. I use the level to wrap my anchor rope,for my boat,around.


  • Scott Hutson

    Betsy, You asked: “What is next?”….My last comment just brought to my attn.,,,I forgot to tag my boat and motor last june. I will be giving the “gift” of a late fee to the OKLA. Tax commision.


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