Comments on: The Curse That Keeps On Giving http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm If A.D.D. Is A Gift...Can I Return It For Something Else? Sun, 05 Sep 2010 10:34:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Scott Hutson http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm/comment-page-1#comment-11674 Scott Hutson Sun, 13 Sep 2009 14:28:14 +0000 http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm#comment-11674 Jeff, Very good point,and I agree. Having this A.D.D. mind,that comes with very few(if any)"Rest Stops" on it's map to...where-ever it leads, we sometimes have to pull over and make our own "pretend" rest stops. But we realize if we don't do that, we would be very uncomfortable on a never ending journey. Scott. Jeff,

Very good point,and I agree. Having this A.D.D. mind,that comes with very few(if any)”Rest Stops” on it’s map to…where-ever it leads, we sometimes have to pull over and make our own “pretend” rest stops.

But we realize if we don’t do that, we would be very uncomfortable on a never ending journey.

Scott.

]]> By: Jeff http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm/comment-page-1#comment-11569 Jeff Sat, 12 Sep 2009 13:36:27 +0000 http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm#comment-11569 Scott, At the beginning I too, fell for the "A.D.D. Is A Gift" snake oil nonsense. After all, wouldn't you rather think you've been handed a gift instead of a curse? But in my post "Science versus the ADD Self" (http://jeffsaddmind.com/science-versus-the-add-self-481.htm) I try to grapple a bit more with that middle ground and I think I kind of hit on the answer, namely that we need to live in the world of illusion (like the flat earth) while knowing, on a deeper level, that we are intentionally fooling ourselves. Scott,

At the beginning I too, fell for the “A.D.D. Is A Gift” snake oil nonsense. After all, wouldn’t you rather think you’ve been handed a gift instead of a curse? But in my post “Science versus the ADD Self” (http://jeffsaddmind.com/science-versus-the-add-self-481.htm) I try to grapple a bit more with that middle ground and I think I kind of hit on the answer, namely that we need to live in the world of illusion (like the flat earth) while knowing, on a deeper level, that we are intentionally fooling ourselves.

]]> By: Scott Hutson http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm/comment-page-1#comment-11568 Scott Hutson Sat, 12 Sep 2009 13:04:15 +0000 http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm#comment-11568 Jeff, You said, in #4 comment to Doc Parker, something I can see in myself. You said:"As I've noted in some other posts...I noticed that it(the A.D.D.)*does* get better over time. Medication works wonderfully in that regard." Very true in regards to medication. But also, in my case, I see the improvement in my own comments, as time goes by.(even though my comments are still so "off the wall" in a weird sort of way) But what I see is> Me falling for the "gift" thing,in some of my 1st comments. Then gradualy, via of this blog, and the revelation of the obvious "fraud" of the "Authors"(Thats a nice word,but I have better words,to describe these frauds)that are putting out books about "ADD Gifts". So, education along with medication, in regards to my A.D.D.,is the key for me. It is (A.D.D.) still a curse, but if I don't fight back when I am being attacked by it, I will need alot more band-aids to patch the wounds. Scott. Jeff,

You said, in #4 comment to Doc Parker, something I can see in myself. You said:”As I’ve noted in some other posts…I noticed that it(the A.D.D.)*does* get better over time. Medication works wonderfully in that regard.”

Very true in regards to medication. But also, in my case, I see the improvement in my own comments, as time goes by.(even though my comments are still so “off the wall” in a weird sort of way)

But what I see is> Me falling for the “gift” thing,in some of my 1st comments. Then gradualy, via of this blog, and the revelation of the obvious “fraud” of the “Authors”(Thats a nice word,but I have better words,to describe these frauds)that are putting out books about “ADD Gifts”.

So, education along with medication, in regards to my A.D.D.,is the key for me. It is (A.D.D.) still a curse, but if I don’t fight back when I am being attacked by it, I will need alot more band-aids to patch the wounds.

Scott.

]]> By: Scott Hutson http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm/comment-page-1#comment-9962 Scott Hutson Fri, 21 Aug 2009 02:57:18 +0000 http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm#comment-9962 ADD is a curse, and nothing in having it is a gift. This is just me saying that,because the more I learn,the more I see how it has affected me. That dose'nt mean I am unhappy with life, or that I have been defeated. No,I just see the truth, and realize,the more I give credit to ADD, for the good things I see in myself,the more dependent I will be on a disease that will only hurt me if I fall for the "Gifts" lie, that some try to sell me. The lyrics of a song "Venom Wearin' Denim" by Junior Brown, has a witty verse that contains the words: "If you give her a diamond,you get a Diamondback"...It jumped right out at me,how this could be used to describe the vemon in the bite of ADD,and how it can deceive me,if I don't "see" what it realy is. My personal opinion only, about my own ADD....Scott. ADD is a curse, and nothing in having it is a gift. This is just me saying that,because the more I learn,the more I see how it has affected me.

That dose’nt mean I am unhappy with life, or that I have been defeated. No,I just see the truth, and realize,the more I give credit to ADD, for the good things I see in myself,the more dependent I will be on a disease that will only hurt me if I fall for the “Gifts” lie, that some try to sell me.

The lyrics of a song “Venom Wearin’ Denim” by Junior Brown, has a witty verse that contains the words: “If you give her a diamond,you get a Diamondback”…It jumped right out at me,how this could be used to describe the vemon in the bite of ADD,and how it can deceive me,if I don’t “see” what it realy is.

My personal opinion only, about my own ADD….Scott.

]]> By: Jeff http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm/comment-page-1#comment-1502 Jeff Sun, 15 Mar 2009 13:14:04 +0000 http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm#comment-1502 Ah, yes...what is normal? Normal is what we say it is. (Circular reasoning...no?) Then "normal," as you correctly note, Charlotte, can (and does!!) shift over time. In a society that devalues the use of the hands and body for "earning a living" and instead, relies increasing on the mind (knowledge workers...sitting still), that's a difficult norm for many of us to adhere to. Is it no wonder, then, that A.D.D.ers don't fit in to today's society? Whereas 75 years ago those same A.D.D.ers may have been carpenters or shoemakers or cabinet makers and so on, these trades have disappeared (at least from these shores) and we are left with sitting at our computer (much like I am doing now as I listen to my IPOD and rock back and forth in order to maintain concentration) as a means of earning a living. On a different note, I have a problem with a phrase you used though I understand the sentiment that lies behind it. The problematic phrase is "eventually grow up." This phrase has a pejorative sense to it especially to an A.D.D.er's ears. It is the phrase most often spoken by non-A.D.D.ers about the problems of A.D.D.ers. Perhaps a better phrase is, "eventually control the A.D.D. impulses and learn to work with what you were handed." Ah, yes…what is normal? Normal is what we say it is. (Circular reasoning…no?) Then “normal,” as you correctly note, Charlotte, can (and does!!) shift over time. In a society that devalues the use of the hands and body for “earning a living” and instead, relies increasing on the mind (knowledge workers…sitting still), that’s a difficult norm for many of us to adhere to. Is it no wonder, then, that A.D.D.ers don’t fit in to today’s society? Whereas 75 years ago those same A.D.D.ers may have been carpenters or shoemakers or cabinet makers and so on, these trades have disappeared (at least from these shores) and we are left with sitting at our computer (much like I am doing now as I listen to my IPOD and rock back and forth in order to maintain concentration) as a means of earning a living.

On a different note, I have a problem with a phrase you used though I understand the sentiment that lies behind it. The problematic phrase is “eventually grow up.” This phrase has a pejorative sense to it especially to an A.D.D.er’s ears. It is the phrase most often spoken by non-A.D.D.ers about the problems of A.D.D.ers. Perhaps a better phrase is, “eventually control the A.D.D. impulses and learn to work with what you were handed.”

]]> By: Charlotte Nugent http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm/comment-page-1#comment-1493 Charlotte Nugent Sat, 14 Mar 2009 17:06:28 +0000 http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm#comment-1493 As a person with ADD who has been a therapist for years, I must say that my experience is that MOST people don't know what "normal" is. Now I realize that my "sample" is derived from people who come to a therapist for help and is therefore a scewed sample. Still I'm fairly sure that this concept is a "misnomer". The "norm" or "normal" is defined by Webster as a" set standard or development or achievement usu. derived from the average or median achievement of a large group". Who knows what that "median" might be in our population today? Large numbers of people appear to be "lost" and "dysfunctional" as evidenced by what (normal?) people seem to find meaningful in popular entertainment. (TV programs for example.) When I work with people with ADHD OR from addicted families, OR with crippling depression and anxiety OR with learning problems or any of the host of things people struggle with, I daresay ALL of them would say "When I was growing up, I didn't know what normal behavior was". Just the groups i have mentioned above constitute a large part of the population. So, ADDer's are not alone in these feelings. We all have to eventually grow up and learn to work with what we were handed. We have to take those "lemons" and make lemonade as much as we curse while we do it (which I do frequently thanks to Jeff, "Some f***ing gift!") It could be a lot worse, and often is for many. As a person with ADD who has been a therapist for years, I must say that my experience is that MOST people don’t know what “normal” is. Now I realize that my “sample” is derived from people who come to a therapist for help and is therefore a scewed sample.
Still I’m fairly sure that this concept is a “misnomer”. The “norm” or “normal” is defined by Webster as a” set standard or development or achievement usu. derived from the average or median achievement of a large group”. Who knows what that “median” might be in our population today? Large numbers of people appear to be “lost” and “dysfunctional” as evidenced by what (normal?) people seem to find meaningful in popular entertainment. (TV programs for example.)
When I work with people with ADHD OR from addicted families, OR with crippling depression and anxiety OR with learning problems or any of the host of things people struggle with, I daresay ALL of them would say “When I was growing up, I didn’t know what normal behavior was”. Just the groups i have mentioned above constitute a large part of the population. So, ADDer’s are not alone in these feelings.
We all have to eventually grow up and learn to work with what we were handed. We have to take those “lemons” and make lemonade as much as we curse while we do it (which I do frequently thanks to Jeff, “Some f***ing gift!”) It could be a lot worse, and often is for many.

]]> By: Crimson http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm/comment-page-1#comment-661 Crimson Fri, 30 Jan 2009 13:13:10 +0000 http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm#comment-661 Mattman I think that is the hardest thing for me - to watch the frustration my husband deals with and not know how to help - how to fix life, how to make it better for him. Then I beat myself up because I've failed. Take a deep breath and remember you are a human being - not perfect, and leave the screwups behind..keep stepping forward, but ther are bound to be a few steps back. Mattman
I think that is the hardest thing for me – to watch the frustration my husband deals with and not know how to help – how to fix life, how to make it better for him. Then I beat myself up because I’ve failed.
Take a deep breath and remember you are a human being – not perfect, and leave the screwups behind..keep stepping forward, but ther are bound to be a few steps back.

]]> By: Jeff http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm/comment-page-1#comment-589 Jeff Fri, 23 Jan 2009 10:52:45 +0000 http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm#comment-589 Mattman, Hang in there...you'll get back to your original task. As an A.D.D.er you need to give yourself that outlet to let off some steam so you can refocus on the main task at hand. Mattman,

Hang in there…you’ll get back to your original task. As an A.D.D.er you need to give yourself that outlet to let off some steam so you can refocus on the main task at hand.

]]> By: Jeff http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm/comment-page-1#comment-588 Jeff Fri, 23 Jan 2009 10:51:19 +0000 http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm#comment-588 Crimson, Perhaps that IS the gift...a double-bitted ax! ;) Crimson,

Perhaps that IS the gift…a double-bitted ax! ;)

]]> By: Mattman http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm/comment-page-1#comment-585 Mattman Fri, 23 Jan 2009 07:27:45 +0000 http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-curse-that-keeps-on-giving-332.htm#comment-585 "Gift?" Yeah, like that white elephant, glow-in-the-dark wine cork shredder that nobody wants at the Christmas party. I was diagnosed at age 40. Good to know I wasn't retarded (I mean that in a clinical, not derogatory, context) for the previous 39 years. I sat at my computer a half hour ago to look up some other info and then --where does the time go?-- now I'm responding to posts. I piss off everyone and feel like it's only a matter of time until I start getting in trouble for incompletes at work. I've managed to start making my wife feel unimportant (how the **** do you forget stocking stuffers for mommy?) , and I'm growing sick of myself. Rytalin made me happy for awhile, but the stupid shrink who prescribed it only seemed to care about my wife's work and never inquired about how I felt or my progress. I guess she got her $100 or so per 15 minute visit, so good for her. It's really tough on yourself to know what you should be doing, yet not do it, despite countless books, drugs, and negative consequences. Like now. I have to finish my original task. Thanks for the vent; I'm sure I'll be back... “Gift?” Yeah, like that white elephant, glow-in-the-dark wine cork shredder that nobody wants at the Christmas party. I was diagnosed at age 40. Good to know I wasn’t retarded (I mean that in a clinical, not derogatory, context) for the previous 39 years.

I sat at my computer a half hour ago to look up some other info and then –where does the time go?– now I’m responding to posts. I piss off everyone and feel like it’s only a matter of time until I start getting in trouble for incompletes at work. I’ve managed to start making my wife feel unimportant (how the **** do you forget stocking stuffers for mommy?) , and I’m growing sick of myself.

Rytalin made me happy for awhile, but the stupid shrink who prescribed it only seemed to care about my wife’s work and never inquired about how I felt or my progress. I guess she got her $100 or so per 15 minute visit, so good for her.

It’s really tough on yourself to know what you should be doing, yet not do it, despite countless books, drugs, and negative consequences. Like now. I have to finish my original task. Thanks for the vent; I’m sure I’ll be back…

]]>