The Curse (Revisited)
A.D.D. is a f**king curse. Each day can be a struggle and when you think you are making forward movement…you find that you did not.1 And having lived with it for 30 or more years and not knowing you had it, THEN it is definitely a curse. By then it has become an integral part of your daily habits and requires a gargantuan effort to change it. Though you never actually change it. You “contain it and control it” in the same way you contain and control a running stream of water by putting up walls of mud (but you are always convinced you are using rocks…not mud). You barely stay ahead of the water and for a while you actually *do* contain and control it. And then, quite unexpectedly, the wall breaks. And it truly is unexpected because you thought you were using rocks.
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There are days when I wonder what it might be like to have grown up with the knowledge that I had A.D.D. and to have grown up with the skill set to control it.
[Originally posted on June 2, 2007 with the title “The Curse.” Edited on August 22, 2007]
__________________- You can give it any positive spin you want…if that makes you feel better…but it is still a curse. [↩]
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