The A.D.D. “Memory” Panic

A.D.D.ers are prone to brief, intense waves of "memory" panic: a sickening feeling that their protective shell has peeled away, leaving them naked in the cold mist of broken memories. This feeling can last for minutes or hours. During the "panic" A.D.D.ers may frantically search through stacks of papers hoping to find some cryptic scribbling that will help them remember what they believe they have forgotten.¹ Sometimes the panic may cause them to lash out at the nearest person, as if something that person had done had caused their forgetfulness.² Sometimes the panic may occur when their employer asks, "How's the marketing project going?"³

It is difficult to predict when the panic may occur and it is impossible to completely eliminate it. However, one way to deal with it is to see it as a positive event. When I get hit with the memory panic, I calm myself by saying, "No…you haven't forgotten anything. Slow yourself down. It's your mental alarm clock letting you know that there are things you need to remember. Now do something about it" And that's really the key to handling the memory panic. Do something about it. When the panic hits I usually do one of two things.

1. I might take out a notebook and starting writing like mad. I'll write down everything that comes out of my brain. I don't care if I jump from subject to subject (heck…that's the nature of A.D.D.!). I just write it all down. When the panic is over, I go back to this notebook and try to prioritize what's there based on "Do Now," "Do Later," "Do Much Later."

2. I might take out my Blackberry and send emails to myself. Like with the notebook, I want to externalize all the thoughts so, at a later time, I can see them objectively.

These two methods allow me to capture everything that comes streaming out. The physical act of writing/typing releases energy and reduces the panic. Once it subsides, I calmly review the list of items. I now have a record of "the panic." When panic strikes again, I can refer to this record since it "proves" that I did not forget as much as I thought I did. 

1. The memory panic is, at times, just a general panic that something has been forgotten even when that is not really the case.↩
2. There is, unfortunately, some truth to this. That is, sometimes someone's action can cause an A.D.D.er to forget something. This can occur when the A.D.D.er has a very tenuous hold on a memory and some action by someone else shifts the A.D.D.er's attention which causes the memory to disappear. ↩
3. Added to this is the panic that the employer may begin to conclude that there is something wrong with you. They may not determine that you are an A.D.D.er but that thought does tend to cross your mind.↩

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