T here are times when my brain feels like scrambled eggs. The day is like a fog and I can’t concentrate on a thing. This seems to follow periods of clarity when I am going through a manic state of hyper-productivity. It seems that it is the aftermath of the state of clarity as if an edifice were erected (state of clarity) and then it disintegrates into pieces.
It would seem that there are several converging factors here because the scrambled eggs feeling is also accompanied by a perpetual sleepiness. So here, then, is the pattern.
- Everything suddenly seems to “come together.”
- You enter a hyper-productive mode.
- Hyper-productivity requires a lot of energy.
- Eventually hyper-productivity turns into a stumbling motion where things start to fall apart…what you thought you were holding together starts to lose pieces at the edges, sort of like an object that is spinning so fast parts of it are flying off.
- Eventually the entire edifice crumbles.
- You then enter the “scrambled eggs” stage where everything is a jumble and you are always sleepy.
- Scrambled eggs stage may last days or it has even lasted weeks (my wife might add that it has lasted years! ).
- Then a metamorphosis occurs and things come back together.
I’ve thought of the metamorphosis as, in a sense, putting myself back together. But what happens is that, sometimes, the person that is put back together is not the same as the one that crumbled. I can come back as an intellectual one time, Mr. Handyman the next or some amalgam of the two with the proportions having changed. This is sometimes accompanied by a sleepless night, as if an internal mental battle has been taking place and has awoken me from sleep.
[Added on July 2, 2007] Someone used the analogy of a piano…I’m in tune for a period of time…then I go out of tune…then back into tune. I kinda like that analogy!