Some days I just get tired of having to push myself. I wish I could just wake up and, voila, no more adhd!
Oh!! Here’s a fcuking eye opener. I have a client who is definitely ADHD. They are god damned psychotic! They drop off the face of the earth and then, blam! they send an email with a gazzilion complaints. They complain about shit I asked them about but they never replied to my earlier emails. Thank god I somehow manage to remember what I previously emailed them. Now I know why people think ADHDers are crazy. That’s because they ARE!
Did ya ever wake up thinking that somebody in the middle of the night wiped out your memory and yu need to spend the whole day trying to put your “self” back together? That reminds me of that movie with Dana Carvey where every day when he wakes up he has to play a tape recorder because his memory is completely blank and he has no clue who he is.

You’ll like this one. So I contact this client, who really pissed me off, and said, “Hey, let’s talk about 15 minutes or so to see how we can solve your issues?” And you know what? They STILL don’t f–king respond! I’m a pretty patient guy but they’re really testing my patience!!


Is this it? Is this as good as life gets? Is my ride here on earth going to come to an end? Do I get one more shot? Would we be better off like the dumb beasts who have no consciousness of their ending? And this is the sick joke created by God? He is so f–king powerful and yet he can’t make us be immortal? He can’t make us live a gazillion years?  So..what…we should worship Him and be thankful that we KNOW we are going to die? Wow. Some f–king god if you ask me. I want a god that creates a body that doesn’t slowly deteriorate. Oh, here’s one better. A non-deteriorating, non-adhd body. Now let’s see if God  is all powerful!

ADHDers think 2 dimensionally but live 3 dimensionally (they just don’t know they are living 3 dimensionally)


Ok, so here’s the concept. Non-adhders live in 3 dimensional space defined as x, y and z being time (of course, I should probably have x, y,z and THEN time but, hey , my drawing skills are already taxed as it is). NOn-adhders know that they exist in this time dimension but ADHDers don’t know that about themselves. So imagine that we have a plane bounded by x & y and that plane moves along the Z axis but ADHDers have NO CLUE that this is happening. They are only (next)

aware of the plane they exist in. They move along the Z axis but have no idea they are even doing this.

This is the ADHDer at, say, moment one. And here at moment two, and so on. From the outside observer, the adhder is moving IN time (at least along the time axis) BUT the adhder, because their perspective is stuck in this plane (we are looking at it from the side) has no clue this is happening.

Why does the huffington post publish this new age, narcissistic bullshit? They are undercutting the seriousness of the news they report when they publish this garbage. When huffington post started they were real serious about stuff and tried to put out a different viewpoint. They publish so much of this trash (and lots of pictures of semi-nude women…not that I’m a prude or anything but imagine that the new york times started printing hot pics of women mixed in with their news…would you take anything seriously anything they wrote?) that there are times when I hate  the website. Arianna should decide, you want the site to be serious or shoulod it appeal to all wack jobs equally?

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  • Gina Pera

    Hot doggies! You keep coming up with new ways to thrill your readers, Jeff!

    Love these deep thoughts on notebook paper. But, given my own chicken-scratching, I’m most impressed by your legible handwriting!

    Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but your clients might be mutually congratulating themselves on how brilliant they are, obviously too important to respond to your e-mails. Meanwhile, if their brilliant plans go awry, be ready for them to blame YOU!

    As for Arianna Huffington, well, she fails at least one important litmus test for basic intelligence, which is why she was inducted into the ADHD Roller Coaster Hall of Shame:


    • Jeff

      I thought the notebook paper was a neat way to present these ideas…so glad you were duly impressed. The 2 dimensional/ 3 dimensional idea, well…I wish I could really draw better. I could picture it in my mind but was not really able to draw it the way I could envision it. And yeah, now I remember that Hall of Shame…I believe Maher was on that list too.

      • Gina Pera

        Drawing’s did the job!

        Yes, Maher’s on the list, too, along with two conservative congressmen. ADHD Denial: The great unifier.

    • betsy davenport, phd

      Oh yeah. Watching the show that preceded the Huffpo item was painful. It was the only time I have ever seen my favorite seventeen year old get really pissed off and actually cry when someone said stupid stuff about ADD.

      We have all heard it a thousand times, but somehow, when Bill Maher said it, it really hurt. I like Bill. Mostly. He’s kind of juvenile about pot and sex, but I agree with him on a lot of things and he can be wickedly funny. I definitely appreciate smart and funny, which qualities he has, in spades.

      But when ALL FOUR of them began to spout off about ADD, I was overcome by a feeling of impotence. Could not make them hear me, at all.

      • Jeff

        I like Maher too. One problem Maher has, and a lot of baby boomers have, is a hippie mentality for certain things. Always seeing another shooter on the grassy knoll. So at some of the strangest times, some conspiracy theory makes them.

  • Katy B.

    Laughing so hard I’m crying…bullseye, b*itch! Wheeeeee!

    You sell the two dimensionality thing short however…it’s serving me quite well at the moment. I’m so frustrated with my homework load right now that my inability to measure time is my best friend…I’m taking advantage of the fact that I’m an ADHDer who can’t get to sleep anyway, and celebrating with an all-night hyperfocus until I drop homework session. Just me, the dog, a pizza, Pandora set to “Air” radio and minutes that just seem to slip through my fingers like Miller Lite past my grandmother’s lips…and I don’t care……..(although I might be a little sleep-deprived and bordering on hysterical at the moment….!!!!).


    • Jeff

      When you’re “in the storm,” so to speak, the lack of time-awareness is a great thing. For me…when I come back to the 3 dimensional world, that’s when I realize how I may have lost too much time.

      • Katy B.

        Why can’t we just spend more time “in the storm”…siiiiiighhhhh…oh wait, that’s right, because it would be INSANE…

    • Gina Pera

      haha Katy!

      You must be doing a creative writing course now…..”like Miller Lite past my grandmother’s lips…”lol!

      • Katy B.

        No but Grammy drank a lot of Miller Lite ;)

  • Katy B.

    And that drawing looks like little factories…you make ADHD look so productive!

  • Scott Hutson

    Oh yeah, there it is! That “Rest….Less” A.D.D.MIND. The question “Did you ever wake up thinking that somebody in the middle of the night wiped out your memory and……..” I need to find that somebody and kick his,her,it’s……Or start writing notes on pages. My notes might result in a bunch of guys holding a net walking toward me if read by a Psychologist though. Oh well, I’ll take a chance.

    Great post Jeff! I can relate to your thoughts and find comfort in the fact that I am not the only one who thinks about these things…..

    • Jeff

      I’m willing to be that there are many many other things that ADHDers go through but are not willing to speak about in public.

      • Scott Hutson

        We could hang signs: “Warning! Speeding Thoughts! Enter At Your Own Risk!”

  • Sharon

    This is truely fabulous. I concur with your notebook pages and would keep my own if I was organized. I have also benefited from never refusing to delete any email, and am able to refer to them when people take back what they said. I have also had the time thing and forgetting time. Unfortunately, I have a job that is “instant job just add anyone who comes in on time.” So it can be quite difficult to lose time. You have made me laugh about my differences today and I appreciate that more then you can possibly know.

    • Jeff

      I have to also say that sometimes…when digging up an old email to back up my point…I ended up pissing off the client even more.

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