Comments on: Know Thyself

By: Paradigm Of Thought

Paradigm Of Thought — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 05:21:26 +0000

I have to say that this was a very compelling post. I very much enjoyed reading it, and I believe that the message is quite powerful. Keep it up.

- Paradigm of Thought

By: From the Archives: Know Thyself | Jeff's A.D.D. Mind

From the Archives: Know Thyself | Jeff's A.D.D. Mind — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 18:14:54 +0000

[...] fashion what life is like when the wellspring of that life is a vortex of emotion and intellect? [ Read More [...]

By: My Sick Experiment - Jeff’s A.D.D. Mind

My Sick Experiment - Jeff’s A.D.D. Mind — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 13:28:32 +0000

[...] be continued…….. __________________See my examination of the wreckage of life in Know Thyself. What is even more sobering, and depressing, is the wreckage I have caused in the lives of my wife [...]

By: Jeff

Jeff — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 10:59:51 +0000

Tara,

Thank you! I think I may have found the perfect career. I’ll describe it more in a later post.

Jeff

By: Tara

Tara — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 06:12:00 +0000

Hi Jeff,

Congratulations on your job!

By: Jeff

Jeff — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 03:00:50 +0000

Jennifer,

Thank you for your heartfelt comment. If somehow, through my writings, I have helped you in some way then all that went into those writings had been time well spent.

Jeff

By: jenjansen

jenjansen — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 17:24:21 +0000

I was turned onto your blog a few months ago and I have been an avid reader since then.
You ask and attempt to answer so many of the same questions I have asked myself through the years.
I am also in my 40′s, very familiar with unproductive therapy and self diagnosed with ADD 6 years ago.I have been searching for support ever since. Hard to come by, but I mustsay just reading about other ADD’ers experiences is a great help in itself. Knowing I am not alone in this struggle is half the battle.
I just inishedreading “Know Thyself”. I realize at this point how much I have crafted my life story in such a way to placate my feelings of failure and frustration with myself. Quite frankly I think it is the only way I have gotten this far. If I had not been able to do this I probably would not be here right now. At this juncture of my life I am more than ready to give up this habit and really move forward. The past is over and done with. What matters is the action I make now to overcome my failures and truly achieve better self esteem.Looking back for answers put me in a certain holding pattern. Instaed of finding insight from my past I found more confusion, which only led to more story bending to make it right in my mind. Not sure if I am making much sense. I will try a bit longer to make my point.
I have been looking for the right choice of careers forever. My search for ths elusive perfect job for me has run the gamut. I am left with a lot of unwanted infomation that does me little good. Shards of failure to remind me where I have been and where I do not wish to go again. I believe I am pointed in the right derection this time around. Something new for me, moving ahead with confidence rather than fear.I am embracing my creative energy, and learning to channel it in a more productive way. Knowing, as you said so eloquently, that it can very well be my greatest enemy. Keep up the great writing. You are an inspiration.
Jennifer

By: Jeff

Jeff — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 07:45:34 +0000

Gina,

Thank you, thank you for taking the time to read and comment. “Validation” of one’s thoughts is so important, especially to an A.D.D.er who seems, at times, to get stuck in his own head.

Interestingly, when I reread some of my posts I have no clue how I even wrote it. It seems that some other person wrote it. Hmmm…that must be an A.D.D. issue too.

I should add that, in fairness to past therapists, that I grew up at a time when it was thought that people grew out of A.D.D. and that it did not exist in adults. I was in therapy in the 1970′s and 1980′s and, I believe, it wasn’t until about fifteen years ago that it was realized – and acknowledged – that A.D.D. stays with most people for their entire life.

Jeff

By: ginapera

ginapera — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 01:34:55 +0000

Great job, Jeff.

This is one of the most profound treatments I’ve seen on this subject (a proclivity towards self-delusion, or, as the professionals might say, cognitive distortions). In fact, it’s rarely discussed at all. So, kudos to you.

This quality is one that poses some of the greatest risks to a relationship. The two people aren’t seeing the same reality.

Speaking of therapy….In the book I’ve almost completed (for adults with ADHD and their partners), I worked up a good 60 pages explaining why, in general, pursuing therapy when you don’t know you have ADHD is a bad idea. Trouble is, most therapists will not recognize it–but that won’t stop them from misattributing ADHD symptoms to childhood traumas, etc. As you say…potty training.

Of course, the final version of that chapter is much shorter, but it was very therapeutic for me–recounting all my personal stories of wasted time, money, and frustration, along with those from the members of the support groups I lead (for the partners of adults with ADHD).

Non-ADHD-savvy therapy is a problem for individuals, couples, and families affected by ADHD. Yet, most people find it hard to believe that “bad therapy is worse than no therapy” when it comes to ADHD.

And you touched on the major reasons why: cognitive distortions that make rehashing the past (or sometimes even the present) unreliable, and rehashing the past without taking into account neurogenetic factors in both parent and child. It all gets very confusing–and seldom healing. Especially when childhood unhappiness is blamed for current dysfunction–instead of ADHD symptoms being recognized for what they are. Of course, there can be overlap, but the therapist needs to be able to go back and forth, from the neurogenetic to the environmental, and that is rare expertise to find.

Thanks for writing about this.