“You’re basically describing color to the blind.” – This, unfortunately, sounds about right. You try to explain things to a non-ADHDer and they give you that quizzical look or just think you are plain nuts.

“keep getting misdiagnosed” – This is certainly one of the worst parts of undiagnosed ADHD, when the professional picks up the “obvious” diagnosis and completely misses the “other” obvious diagnosis.

“even though I was perfectly capable of keeping the job and paying the bills.” – It’s common to hit some sort of breaking point where things kind of fall apart. Something(s) brought you to this point…which is quite common for an ADHDer. I use the metaphor of the spinning plates. Life is great and then you reach a point where you can’t keep them spinning anymore and they start crashing all around you.

“I still have issues with thinking I need to be high to be happy.” – Over time this thought will fade away (to a large degree). Vigorous walking, good music, a good movie, a hike in the woods, etc., can provide a different kind of high that can make you happy (especially the exercise: walking; running, etc.). Give yourself time to explore the other aspects of life that are satisfying and not related to drugs. You’ll find that there are other things out there that can make you happy.

“Do you think people that abused drugs prior to finding treatment will need therapy or will that tendency go away with time?” – The drug abuse was a way of handling your undiagnosed ADHD. Now that you *are* diagnosed and you *are* on medication…this will become less of an issue. But your need to remain in therapy will have less to do with the drug abuse and more to do with the ADHD.

I’ve written so many things on this blog and, well, there are some things that I wish I didn’t write. That particular line – “being the life of the party” – is one of those lines that I wish I didn’t write. At the time I was still under the sway of the “A.D.D. is a Gift” non-sense and those still enthralled by this snake oil often site this alleged characteristic (sometimes they say “sense of humor”, see: http://www.adhd-information-exchange.com/The-Gift-Of-ADHD.html ).

What I have concluded, based admittedly on a small sample size (my own experience and the experience of other A.D.D.ers I’ve spoken to) is that “life of the party” is, well, non-sense. In my own case, when I was much younger I was NOT the life of the party. In fact I was the wallflower of the party. I avoided as much human interaction as possible and, when I was at a party, I was physically (and mentally) at the periphery. I did not become the life of the party until much later in life. Recently I’ve come to realize that being the life of the party is a defense mechanism. It allows you to control others through laughter. If you can keep them laughing…you can keep them off guard…you can keep them liking you (and, therefore, you are potentially in no danger).

So, do not take it personally that he is not the life of the party when he is at home. He’s on safe territory…no need for the defense mechanism.

How about the “Small Party” of freinds,co-workers,family…etc..In our daily lives, past & present? Thats what I’ve seen in myself,and the way it has/had become a way of trying to be in controle of everything…when I can’t even controle myself.

Scott.

When I was younger I was much like you. Relationships were difficult. I didn’t like being at parties (I would hide myself). Something changed for me, though, in my mid-20′s. Becoming the “life of the party” became part of my persona. But as I’ve come to recently learn, that ability to be the life of the party is really my way of dealing with my underlying anxiety.