Having Adult A.D.D. means…
- …having to say “you’re sorry” more often than you would really like to.
- …having some sort of financial issues.
- …being able to generate new ideas at lightning speed.
- …being able to have great psychological insight into the workings of everyone else’s mind.
- …doing things with passion and intensity.
- …never giving up (even when you should).
- …having many interests.
- …seeing every day as a new beginning.
- …being the life of the party.
- …having perfect recall of select events.
- …hoping one day (even though you know otherwise) that somehow your A.D.D. will be gone.
- …having days where you are paralyzed by your overwhelming to-do list.1
- …having days when you complete almost everything on your to-do list.
[Edited on Aug 20, 2007]
- An h/t goes to the Addled Academic.↩
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I was recently diagnosed (about 9 months ago) as having Adult ADD. I’ll be 33 years old in September, and I am going back to college again. I can understand how Jeff feels about it not being a “gift” even though I am younger than he was, when I was diagnosed. While I enjoy having an intense understanding of other peoples minds, being a social magnet and bouts of hyperfocus, I feel robbed of so much. Time and anger have always been my great enemies. I see myself getting older, but I still feel the same (except more life experience and education). I still lock up mentaly when someone asks me what I want to do when I grow up. I feel lost and at the mercy of my octopus brain. Unless a subject has me riveted, my octopus brain is tendriling through other things until I’m strung in eight different directions. AHHHHRRRGGG! Right now I’m supposed to be doing math homework.
well back to math, but I thought I’d chime in and say thank you for the wonderful forum, and you are appreciated for your voice, opinion and support of others who share your personal demon.
Steve
Steve,
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. I was in graduate school in my 30s…so I’m aware of the pluses of ADD (hyperfocus) and the pitfalls (time and anger issues). And I’m a lot older than you and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
Jeff
I find it interesting how so many experiencing ADHD say they’re ’social magnets’ or ‘the life of the party’. I’ve found relationships of any kind enormously difficult. Invitations are rarely offered or accepted. Just a thought…
Robin,
When I was younger I was much like you. Relationships were difficult. I didn’t like being at parties (I would hide myself). Something changed for me, though, in my mid-20’s. Becoming the “life of the party” became part of my persona. But as I’ve come to recently learn, that ability to be the life of the party is really my way of dealing with my underlying anxiety.
Robin,
How about the “Small Party” of freinds,co-workers,family…etc..In our daily lives, past & present? Thats what I’ve seen in myself,and the way it has/had become a way of trying to be in controle of everything…when I can’t even controle myself.
Scott.
You mention “being the life of the party”. The ADHD man I am involved with is the life of the party when anyone else is around however completely shuts down when it is just the 2 of us. Is this part of ADHD or is it just him?
Sass,
I’ve written so many things on this blog and, well, there are some things that I wish I didn’t write. That particular line – “being the life of the party” – is one of those lines that I wish I didn’t write. At the time I was still under the sway of the “A.D.D. is a Gift” non-sense and those still enthralled by this snake oil often site this alleged characteristic (sometimes they say “sense of humor”, see: http://www.adhd-information-exchange.com/The-Gift-Of-ADHD.html ).
What I have concluded, based admittedly on a small sample size (my own experience and the experience of other A.D.D.ers I’ve spoken to) is that “life of the party” is, well, non-sense. In my own case, when I was much younger I was NOT the life of the party. In fact I was the wallflower of the party. I avoided as much human interaction as possible and, when I was at a party, I was physically (and mentally) at the periphery. I did not become the life of the party until much later in life. Recently I’ve come to realize that being the life of the party is a defense mechanism. It allows you to control others through laughter. If you can keep them laughing…you can keep them off guard…you can keep them liking you (and, therefore, you are potentially in no danger).
So, do not take it personally that he is not the life of the party when he is at home. He’s on safe territory…no need for the defense mechanism.