Several days ago I got the best news of my life. I learned that Jennifer Lopez was getting divorced. I’m ecstatic. Finally I will be able to live out my fantasy of hot sex with this hot babe. I don’t know where she lives but I know it is nearby. I’ll be ready and waiting at the local Wendy’s for the moment when she walks in the door. (Hopefully I won’t gain too much weight as I sit all day eating Spicy Chicken Sandwiches.) Oh. There is a problem. I’ve already got my sight set on another recent divorce, Patricia Arquette. Now what the hell am I supposed to do.
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Don’t we realize that we are headed back to the same old times we had 100 years ago? We have no sense of the sweep of history. We are so fucking egocentric, so fucking deluded with our own self-importance, that we think nothing bad can really happen to us, only to other people. But, damn it, look at it! The New York Times has a book review on a book about the transcontinential railroads. Those railroad barons were fucking bastards and they didn’t care who they had to step on, who they had to crush, to get what they wanted. Is there any difference between that and what Wall Street did to the entire country and the entire world economy? Now all of us can experience those good ol’ days when there were no unions (and if you tried to form one you’d probably be killed), no health insurance, no social safety net, no nothing. And the irony of ironies? Now we ALL get to work for coolie wages and now the coolies have our entire economy and all our fucking jobs and they are doing just great with it, thanks for asking.
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I swear I can’t get a fucking thing done. I’m off my meds for almost a month and, shit, you mean to tell me this is a gift? This is the thing that people think is so fucking wonderful that they think every kid should have it for Christmas? Well, fuck you! This is no fucking gift. This ADHD shit is maddening, it’s psychosis on steroids. It drives you nucking futs!
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Anyone else fantasize about having alternate lives? Isn’t that the source of frustration, what drives some ADHDers to do crazy things because they think that Patricia Arquette is really really gonna take notice of them so they get divorced so they can be ready for her phone call?
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What a fucking gift, eh?