I could be writing it and posting it.! Just a thought

I also send you three cheers for your revamped and spiffy new look (I mean your site, but if you’re trying anything new in personal fashion, I’ll applaud that too.)

Now, would I think that way if I was not an ADDer? Just like everthing that ever happens to us, we cannot answer what we would do or think about anything.

Reality sucks, but I woke up and got out of bed today without help.

As you probably already know…there’s 2000 years worth of intellectual debate behind much of what you’ve said. Going back to at least St. Augustine (see: http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/augustine/#5) and even earlier, there is an enormous question mark concerning the relationship between god’s foreknowledge and free will. Their possible coexistence eventually comes down to a being a matter of faith.

However, putting all this aside for a moment, in many cases we do, indeed, have the possibility of making choices. The awareness of the forces that compel us to do X instead of Y provides, interestingly, the ability to do otherwise (within limits). That is, awareness itself provides choices. It allows us to see the obstacles and, like driving a car, we can turn the wheel to avoid hitting them.

(This may have been addressed by other commentators….but I could not read through all the comments, surprise, surprise.)

God himself devised free will so that our choice to love Him and believe in Him is authentic….not preprogrammed or robotic. We are not ants. We are humans.

We also have the free will choice to follow His ways. We can not possible bat a thousand. He knows that. As long as we apologize…really apologize, from our hearts…which will manifest in our changing our actions….then He forgives, over and over again. He loves us too much to not forgive us. That said, He forgives us, but if we have messed up and especially willfully chosen the opposite of His ways (or to forsake His existance, entirely), then we will suffer consequences here on earth. Whatever consequence there is here, is not as bad as the eternal consequence of going to hell.

The mess on this earth is really a consequence of choosing the opposite of His ways. Sometimes we pay the consequences for our father’s choices, or our grandfather’s choices. Not fair, but that’s the reality. Cycles of dysfunction are real. Genetic propensities are also real.

But, if one believes that by choosing God…and then by trying hard to adhere (imperfectly) to His ways…one can get a handle on better reining-in what some others call character deficits, then one is actually more likely to be able to live a happier, more productive, less abusive, and especially, a more at-peace life.

I believe, btw, that God enables medical technology to help us. And He uses all sorts, including non-believers, to invent those medical technologies. If one needs Vyvase and Wellbutrin to better regulate one’s biochemicals, then by all means, take them!

There is absolutely a mind / body connection. And in my believe system, there is also a mind / body / spirit connection.

So, the short answer is that God gave us free will….which He won’t mess with….so that we choose Him, out of authentic love (and gratitude), instead of out of forced obligation.

Your whole comment was very helpful to me Ellen! It was just those words, that caught my attention(deficit)

I didn’t buy a new planner, I didn’t even buy a new paper pad; I just am using papers from my household scrap paper pile. The to-do items are scrawled down as I think of them and I don’t obsess about them being in any particular order or priority. (Certain critical things don’t get written down, but done immediately.) When the piece of scrap paper gets filled up, usually with not everything crossed off yet, it gets copied to a new piece of paper, which reinforces the to-dos in my mind. I’m noticing certain types of tasks keep being re-copied, such as making phone calls to people I don’t enjoy talking to. This list method won’t solve my reluctance to do that; that’s going to have to be tackled in another way. But other things are getting done, such as recharging my cell phone, taking clothes out of the dryer, and other boring things I need to complete to keep my life running more smoothly.

Because, I’ve realized, the one constant in my life is that “OMG, I’ve spent 3 hours web surfing and now I feel useless” feeling. Instead of returning to web surfing to make me feel better, I now have an alternative – pick something from the list and do it, then mini-plan what comes next and write it down. And there are also some things on the list that are fun things I want to do but always forget to do.

Realizing that I have ADD makes me realize that this drifting phenomenon is just going to keep happening and there is nothing I can do to magically end it. I will not wake up one day and have it all gone. No drug, no relationship will accomplish that. It simply has to be coped with every day and that is sobering to accept when you’re my age (40), that your brain simply is not wired for optimum functioning in a society run by non-ADD people.

The first time, and a few times after that might feel a little weird as you still try to “think” about why you are there and what you “should” be talking about…but you’ll settle in eventually!

I say just go for it. I think sometimes dudes (NOT male bashing, just an observation) have a harder time just giving up control and saying “okay, yeah, therapy, I’ll try it”. Nothing wrong with that, you’re in good company…now just dial the phone number of your nearest community mental health center already And your wife won’t be there! Perhaps view it as a “wife vacation”? LOLOL…..