A Few Pernicious Myths

1. ADHDers are masters at self-delusion. Some ADHDers see themselves as better, smarter, brighter and more creative than non-ADHDers. This might be true for the small percentage of ADHDers who are already intelligent, bright and creative. But the majority of ADHDers, especially those sitting in prison cells (a sizable number of prisoners have ADHD), are not smarter, brighter or more creative. Therefore, don’t assume a causal connection between intelligence, creativity and ADHD. The fact that a person may possess all of these characteristics and NOT be in prison, may be more an accident of circumstance than a result of the magical powers of ADHD. (See: Adult ADHD As A Form Of Madness An interesting form of this madness can be seen here. For those who believe that having ADHD will make you rich and famous, see this post.)
2. There are no “natural” cures for ADHD. Sorry Virginia. It’s true. Sipping various teas, taking vitamins and supplements, engaging in daily exercise, and so forth, may temporarily alleviate the symptoms but they cannot cure ADHD. However, that doesn’t stop some people from claiming they can cure it. Dr. Bob says he can do it in 18 days. See: http://www.druglessdoctor.com/shop/scripts/prodView.asp?idProduct=566 Jon Bennett claims he can cure ADHD in three easy steps. See: http://www.facebook.com/3Steps.ADHD My critique of Mr. Bennett’s “cure” can be found in the post How Not To Cure ADHD.
3. ADHD is not a death sentence, in the same way that diabetes is not a death sentence. But they both require vigilance, they both require that you be aware of how your body works and that you pay attention to warning signs. Your body will let you know when you may require a change in diet, medication or exercise.

Time-Tested Advice About Living With ADHD.
(This is an adaptation of an earlier post: Advice for the Adult ADHD Newbie.)

1. Be realistic. Do not expect to change yourself overnight. It is a slow and gradual process, but it can be done. (See this article from ADDitude.)
2. Realize that, at times, you will still stumble. That’s okay. The question is, not how many times did you fall but how many times did you stand up?
3. Get on medication. It takes some time to figure out what medication is right for you but, once you do, it works wonders. But don’t just take medication. Watch your diet. Eat healthy food. Take supplements like Omega-3. Get some exercise (long walks; bicycle rides, etc.).
4. Keep a diary. Jot down thoughts, feelings, events, triumphs and failures. Be sure to review it periodically to see where you may have made improvements and where you still need improvement.
5. ADHD is a moving target. You can, and will, get closer and closer to “controlling” it but, it’s a sly son-of-a-gun and will always outwit you. It is like a caged tiger, always looking for that one time when you accidentally leave the cage door open and, when you do, it will jump right out of the cage. That’s the nature of the ADHD beast.
6. Work with a therapist or ADHD coach who understands the challenges of ADHD. Your sessions will be much more productive if the therapist or coach understands the underlying forces that are causing your problems.
7. Learn to laugh about your ADHD. When you walk from your kitchen to your bedroom and forget why you were going to your bedroom — because something on the television caught your eye and your attention shifted — learn to just laugh it off.
8. Read. Reach Out. Learn. Read blogs. Read books. Learn as much as you can about ADHD. Go to a CHADD conference. Join a support group. Embrace your ADHD and then focus on the things that are most important to you, such as career, health, love and having some fun. Of course your ADHD is still with you but you don’t have to dwell on it. It is only a tiny part of who you are so learn how it affects your life, learn how to minimize its effects, and concentrate on enjoying your life.

P.S. I forgot to address the myth about the healing power of mommy’s kiss on your scraped knee. Seems there may be some truth to it.

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In an English literature course in my second year of college, we were discussing e e cummings anyone lived in a pretty how town. Someone said that there was a sexual overtone to some parts of the poem. “When I thought of that,” I said, ” I figured that I must be crazy.” Without hesitation the professor replied, “Who told you that you were crazy?” At the time I had no response. But I have one now. No one had to tell me I was crazy. I read it on everyone’s face.

The further I went in college, the more I realized that there were others that saw the world the way I did. But despite finding like-minded intellectuals, something was still wrong. Very wrong. It took forty-six years for me to finally figure out why I bounced from career to career like a billiard ball careening off a bumper. I suffer from the holy trinity of self-delusion — intelligence, creativity, and ADHD — giving me the ability to creatively “explain away” my problems instead of confronting them. It did not take long for me to discover fellow sufferers who explain away their problems by claiming to be a DaVinci, a hunter in a society of farmers, or, like Marko Ferek, a hyperactive dreamer. His creation of this unknown personality type is a text-book case of the holy trinity in action.

Ferek writes

I was a below average student. I had a short attention span, I day-dreamed a lot, was fidgety, and no matter how much I tried, I could not focus. Due to this I was often criticized, which lead me to loose all self-confidence. The inability to explain to myself why I had such problems in school, led me to believe that I was stupid.

At the age of 22 I accidentally found out about ADHD. As soon as I read about the symptoms I realized that I had ADHD. This was a big shock for me because I realized that I was not stupid, but that I simply had problems with concentration. I felt a huge urge to understand myself more because I knew I was unknown to myself.

My self-research lead me to an unexpected discovery, something I always felt inside but through the years stopped believing. I found out that I don’t have a deficit, but a gift!” Although I portray the symptoms of ADHD and therefore fall under the ADHD umbrella– I actually don’t have ADHD. Symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity are not the result of my deficit, but a result of my creativity, my gift. I have a healthy and creative mind that creates ADHD-like symptoms.” [Emphasis added]

But wait! There’s more!

Then, out of the blue, I had a vision. I saw my mission – to explain people like me to the world, because this specific spectrum of creativity is still not recognized. I call them “hyperactive dreamers”. Since then I dedicated myself to my mission. [Emphasis added]

Did Marko Ferek really create a new personality type? Of course not. His inability to explain himself to himself led him to believe that he IS stupid. It is likely that the criticism he received never helped him make the distinction between is and like. To tell a child he is acting like he is stupid (which implies that he is not) is not the same thing as saying he is stupid. The former describes a set of actions; the latter describes a state of being, and it is the latter that had a devastating effect on his self-image, something most every ADHDer can relate to. But the label “stupid” left him wondering, how could he be both stupid and creative? That’s when he hit upon his Aha! moment. He is NOT stupid. However, his special type of creativity exhibits characteristics that look LIKE he is stupid. He is hyperactive and impulsive, not because he has ADHD, but because this newly discovered personality type mimics ADHD. In fact, it has all the characteristics of ADHD even though it is NOT ADHD.

I won’t dwell any longer on the twisted logic used to arrive at the concept of “hyperactive dreamer” because I want to address a more fundamental issue, namely that all ADHDers have to grapple with their diagnosis and to figure out what it means for them and what it says about them. Some see it as magical fairy dust while some others see it as a curse that destroys life. Then there are others who just see it as this “thing” they have that sometimes interferes with their life but which is not the sole focus of their life. (This describes my current relationship with my diagnosis. I’ve moved beyond ADHD-as-a-Curse to my Mosquito Theory of ADHD.) Marko Ferek has discovered a brand new way to live with an ADHD diagnosis: acknowledge the obvious, deny the obvious, and give it a new name, such as hyperactive dreaming.

We must admit that for someone to simultaneously acknowledge and deny what is obvious to all, takes enormous courage and creativity, much like that exhibited by Buckminster Fuller, who was a “hopelessly nearsighted child” who “refused to believe that the world was not blurry ” until that fateful moment when he got a pair of glasses. Perhaps Ferek is “psychologically” nearsighted and needs to be fitted with a pair of “psychological” glasses. Then, once he can see what everyone else sees, he can use his formidable talents to help others understand what it is like to be just like Marko Ferek: intelligent, creative and ADHD.

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After years of ADHD symptoms and struggles — dating back to elementary school — Jeff Siegel was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 46. That diagnosis was “bittersweet,” says Siegel. “On the one hand it’s a relief, you know exactly what the answer is,” he says. But on the other hand, there’s fear too — that it’s something you can’t get rid of. [ Click here to read the whole post ]

Oh. Before I forget. I should mention that the ADHDer referred to in that Everyday Health post is me.

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CLICK TO ENLARGE

Thoughts on a Wellbutrin-less Theme,
or
My Search For the Gift of Adhd

if only I could sit
if only I could sit I’m sure that I can
write a novel or three
a history book or two.

if only I could sit I could write a  new computer game, or create a painting or two.

if only I could sit I could take the
contents of my brain and pour it out
onto paper and lay it before me
and sort it
and shape it
and refine it.

if only I could sit.

if only I could sleep I could lick this
ADHD.
I could control my day,
I could do what I must do.
if only I could sleep.

Post Script

I am waiting patiently for the gift to arrive and, so far, I have not seen any evidence of magical powers. I have found that my patience has gone down to zero and I can only concentrate in five minute increments. To perform a task for longer than five minutes requires that I, metaphorically, stick my head in a vise and squeeze my brain into submission, usually while listening to some good toe-tapping music on my headphones as I dance about in my desk chair. Overall this Wellbutrin-less existence has been an absolute disaster and I need to get back on the medication.

But I must confess to a definite difference between living a medicated and non-medicated state…besides the obvious increase in physical and mental chaos. I noticed a marked difference in the rate that ideas are generated. Others have pointed this out and I think there’s some truth to it. Ideas flow at a much faster rate when compared to my medicated state. However, it is nearly impossible to retain any of the ideas long enough to actually act on them. They flit by at lightning speed and they have the consistency of wisps of smoke. They seem to be within grasp and as soon as you reach out to hold onto them they disappear. This heightened intellectual fecundity is, I believe, self-delusion. It only seems like you’re experiencing some sort of intellectual renaissance when, in actuality, you are likely experiencing more ‘noise in the system’ and mistaking this noise for ideas. The internally high noise level, which is the ‘natural state’ for ADHDers, seems more intellectually stimulating (at least for the small percentage of ADHDers who are intelligent) and, therefore, misleads the ADHDer into thinking that the number of ideas has grown exponentially. What has really happened is that the system noise has increased exponentially and the ability to filter out the noise and focus on the ‘good’ ideas (yes, every idea is not necessarily good) has nearly disappeared.

I’ve also noticed a marked increase in physical activity. My body screams at me to get up and move and not just walk but lift things with my arms and shoulders. It’s dying to get all the muscles moving. I’ve started to think about rejoining a gym or, at the least, getting some home gym that would allow me to pump a little iron and then run back to my desk to work. All this new found activity has been focused on my home and is evidenced in the photos of my Facebook page (a few photos are below). I’ve built two fences, rewired most of the outdoor lights, rewired parts of the garage, rearranged everything in the garage to give myself more working space, and so on.¹ As a result of all this I’ve been losing weight which is not surprising now that I’ve become a perpetual motion machine.

When I’m back on medication I’d like to figure out how to keep up the level of physical activity.

Corner Fence

Side Fence

1. If I were to change careers one more time, I’d go into the construction trades.

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…the history of philosophy is but “a series of footnotes to Plato”. – Alfred North Whitehead

…all current and future research about ADHD is but a series of footnotes to the work of Russell Barkley – Jeff Siegel

Executive Functions

Intention Deficit Disorder

Emotional Regulation

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How do you describe ADHD to a non-ADHDer? At the mere mention of the word many will conjure up images of a disheveled boy who is literally bouncing off the walls. (Of course girls can have ADHD but that’s not the first image that usually comes to mind.) To make matters worse, the very name of our “gift” — Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder — adds additional confusion. Some ADHDers do not have the “H” component¹ and, therefore, are thought not to have ADHD at all. Then there’s that awful phrase “Attention Deficit.” If that was the ONLY deficit we had we’d be in great shape. Unfortunately that’s not the case. We also have to contend with the myths. For example, there are those who think ADHD is a “childhood” problem that disappears when one becomes an adult, and there are those who deny that it even exists, describing it as a manifestation of a mouse-clicking-hyperlinked-social networked-electronic-X Box childhood and not a real disorder.²

So, in light of the misunderstandings and, in some cases, outright denial of the existence of ADHD, how do you describe ADHD to a non-ADHDer? You can begin by showing them this list of ten characteristics of an ADHDer’s life. This list highlights some of the issues faced by adult ADHDers, none of which are easily reducible to either an “attention deficit” (though it certainly plays a role) or “hyperactivity.”

1. Problems with memory in daily life. This includes forgetting important dates or events; the need to ask for the same information over and over; the need to rely on memory aides (e.g., reminder notes or electronic devices).
2. Inability (or great difficulty) in planning and/or solving problems. This includes the inability to develop and follow a plan; a problem keeping track of regular events, such as paying monthly bills, etc.
3. Difficulty completing daily tasks at home, at work or at leisure. This may include getting lost when driving to a location; inability to create or manage a budget, etc.
4. Confusion with time or place. This includes problems such as understanding what is occurring in a particular situation; losing track of the passage of time.
5. Trouble understanding visual images and/or spatial relationships. This includes problems of reading, involvement in sports and/or fine motor skills.
6. Problems with words in speaking or writing. This includes a difficulty in articulating one’s needs or desires through either speech or writing. There may also be problems that occur in the middle of a conversation where one is suddenly overcome by a thought totally unrelated to the current conversation.
7. Misplacing things. This includes putting things in unusual places, losing things and not being able to go back over one’s steps to find them again.
8. Poor judgment. People with ADHD may experience problems in judgment or decision-making. For example, they may use poor judgment when dealing with money.
9. Withdrawn from work or social activities. A person with ADHD may engage in solitary activities or activities in which there are very few people to interact with.
10. Mood and personality problems. The moods and personalities of ADHDers can change at a moment’s notice. They can be suspicious, depressed, fearful, angry or anxious. They may be easily upset at home, at work, with friends or in places where they are out of their comfort zone.

Based on The Ten Signs of ADHD

Post Script

Did you click on the link labeled The Ten Signs of ADHD? If you did you would have realized that this list of ADHD characteristics is a modified version of the warning signs of Alzheimer’s disease. In light of the striking similarities between early-onset Alzheimer’s disease and adult ADHD, it becomes very easy to describe ADHD in one sentence: Living with ADHD is like having Alzheimer’s disease your entire life.

1. Paradoxically, I’m becoming “H” as I get older. Go figure.
2. This theory is put forth by Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D. According to Dr. Pick, a psycho-medico-pharmacological conspiracy has taken the electronics-induced short attention span of children and created a fictitious disorder called ADHD. He writes: “a hugely profitable market niche has been created for therapeutic specialists and sellers of psycho-stimulant medications to help settle these young people down so they will be more tractable and concentrate on what they’re told to do.”

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Victory! The accounting department acknowledges their error and gives me a credit of $430.21 (Yes...you can click on the image for a larger view)

In case you can’t read that email (even after clicking on the image), here’s the text of the email:

Dear Valued Verizon Customer,

We have processed your request for a credit to your Verizon account.
Please accept our apology for any inconvenience related to your
service inquiry. It is our goal to efficiently resolve our customer's
service request for complete satisfaction.

A credit in the amount of $430.21 will appear no later than your
MAR, 2011 billing statement.

You may also track your billing adjustment by utilizing our bill
view tool at www.verizon.com/billing

Complete the navigation instructions below to view adjustment records.

Step 1: Sign in to account
Step 2: Click view bill below account actions
Step 3: Click payment tab to the right of bill tab
Step 4: Below payment actions on right side of page click
payment/ adjustments history,
scroll down to view adjustment history

Sincerely,
Verizon
Customer Care Team

I assume that Verizon formatted the email with a tiny font because they did not want to give me the satisfaction of seeing, in BIG BOLD LETTERS that I had won. (I think they also realized that, as I am getting older, I am having problems reading such a small font.¹ ) But I don’t want to focus on what I won but, more importantly, on HOW I won my battle with Verizon.

My "Externalized" Information

From the beginning of my Verizon ordeal, I kept notes on each call I made. I recorded the date of the call, the length of the call, and a few details that would help me recall the conversation. I placed the notes in a file folder and then in the vertical file holder that sits to the left of my computer desk. Each time I called Verizon I took out the folder and, at the end of the call, I added new notes. By the time I made my last call (the call that finally solved the problem) on March 3, 2011, I was able to explain the sequence of events in great detail. I was able to be extraordinarily patient (admittedly I lost it a bit several times while on the phone but each time I would go into a mini-rant I would then apologize to the person I was talking to) with the service representative and I could tell them, with great accuracy, the (theoretical) result of each previous call. (Several times I was told this issue would be resolved…obviously it wasn’t.) I was able to do this because I followed Barkley’s Rule No. 4: Externalize Key Information.

I contained some of my anger during my phone calls with Verizon. When it slipped out I apologized to the person on the phone and, when I was on hold, I let loose a bit more. Yet there was still more anger that needed to get out and a bit of ranting didn’t do it for me.

Is It Really Anger?

I’m beginning to think that what I keep referring to as an “anger issue” is not an anger issue at all. In an earlier post I wrote that my problem is not anger per se but the way that anger is expressed. I’m still grappling for the right metaphor because anger isn’t quite the right word to describe the feeling. It is more like an internal tension that behaves like a rubber band in a balsa wood airplane. Specific types of events, like these frustrating phone calls, and non-events, such as disappointments or piles of bills (have you ever felt that those piles were mocking you…that they were standing there and sticking their tongues out at you and saying, “Hey moron! Here’s something else you forgot to do!”) add a few more turns of the propeller, twisting the rubber band further and increasing the stored up torque, eventually reaching a point where the propeller can’t be turned anymore and the rubber band’s torque is released and the plane flies and crashes into everything in its flight path until it finally hits the floor and smashes into pieces.

Yeah…that sounds like “the gift.”

Image Source: http://modelsaviation.com/Rubber-Band-Powered-Airplanes.html

Post Script

I do not want any ADHDer who has read this post to think that, “Wow! Jeff has really got his shit together! He can now handle these long, drawn out tasks and even win. And he’s learning to deal with this anger and to get past his ADHD.” This is part illusion, part of the pitfalls of blogging and even the pitfalls of narrative that what you read follows a logic in order to make a particular point yet that point is only a slice of reality. (Did you catch the reference earlier in this post about the piles of bills mocking you? I wrote that because, while writing this post, I caught a glimpse of a pile of bills and at the top was an invoice dated for January that…surprise, surprise…has not been paid. Yet if I had not added that parenthetical observation you would not know that the nice narrative about Jeff being able to stay on top of an issue is part illusion…that the narrative forces the writer to push, outside of the narrative, those other forces that are at work…and I’m trying to bring into the narrative that which often escapes the narrative…I’m trying to capture that blooming, buzzing confusion of reality through parenthetical digressions, post scripts, italicized alternate voices.) Writing this post has helped me to remember that, yes, I CAN accomplish things in life…that, yes, I CAN do things when I am focused. But, fuck, the fucking effort required to really stay focused is the real killer. THAT’S what rips your fucking insides out. THAT’S the unending source of rage, of frustration, of internal tension. You can’t fucking escape this ADHD shit. The more I think about my struggles with ADHD the more I hate those fucking Gift of ADHD people. I despise them. I think they are fucking delusional. They are the fucking Jim Jones’s of the ADHD world, handing out their Gift of ADHD kool-aid. I’ve said it in the past and I will say it again. ADHD is a form of madness. Isn’t madness (as we think of it in lay terms) that voice in your head that won’t go away, that internal drive that you can’t turn off when you want to, that force that pushes you in the wrong direction all of the time? How dare anyone, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO DO NOT HAVE ADHD, how dare they refer to this as a fucking gift! I can excuse the ADHDers since ADHDers are quite adept at fooling themselves (I’ve referred to ADD as Adult Delusional Disorder) but I cannot excuse those who do not have ADHD but still spout their la-la-la version of ADHD.

What is great about this fucking gift (or maybe it’s not the gift at all but my other curse, intelligence) is that I can hear the voices of others in my head. I hear them saying, “Boo hoo. I can’t live with my ADHD if all I see is doom and gloom. I need to always find something positive.” To those voices I say, Fuck You! Are you a moron? How can you fix something if you don’t confront it in all its ugliness? To always “see the positive in the negative” is NOT to confront the reality of the issue. In fact, it is the opposite. It is to RUN AWAY from the issue. It is a refusal to see reality as what it truly is and, instead, to substitute a fairy-tale version of reality.

Okay, Jeff. Calm down. No one likes anger. Gray skies are gonna clear up. Put on a happy face. Spread sunshine all over the place.

1. Has anyone investigated the possibility that the reason why people gain weight as they get older is not because their metabolism is changing or because they are becoming more sedentary but that it is a Darwinian adaptation to decreasing visual acuity, hence the body gets larger in order to make it easier for other older people to see it?

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Wait a second!

Don’t go away!

Please!

Watch!

Listen!

This blog is the public record of a personal transformation. The person who started this blog is not exactly the same person who is now talking to you. I’ve changed. I’m not the same person who wrote about anger and rage, who saw ADHD solely as a curse. My attitude towards ADHD has changed. I have entered my post ADHD phase. I have not eliminated it. That is impossible to do. However, I’ve turned my attention and energies towards solutions for my problems, and not on the cause of those problems.

Much of this change has been a result of working through my struggles with understanding ADHD but, I must admit, what crystallized this change was reading Barkley’s Taking Charge of Adult ADHD. I thank Gina Pera for helping me get a copy of this book. So, when you read this blog, remember that it represents several years of personal growth and change as I learned, and still learn, to live with ADHD.

Thank You for watching and listening.

Enjoy your visit to my blog.

Do not hesitate to leave your comments.

Carpe diem!

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I receive emails from many of my blog readers and I’ve decided to use the opening of this post to respond to a number of them. To those who have been wondering if I have been leaving her satisfied or wanting more, the answer is, “satisfied.” Therefore I have no need for those enlargement pills that you keep telling me about. To those who would like me to get involved in the lucrative trade of mining molybdenum, I regretfully decline your generous offer of a partnership. I don’t think business partnerships should be based on a random drawing of someone’s email address. Finally, to those who have been wondering why my blog posting output level seems to have dropped, the answer is “I’ve been busy.” Most of my effort has been aimed at building up a steady stream of business because I’m simply tired of the continual cash flow problems that plague entrepreneurs. And as I have announced in earlier posts, I no longer dwell on my ADHD as the major problem. Instead, I try to understand the nature of the problem at hand and try to arrive at a solution. For example, I realized that I was having difficulty working on several projects simultaneously (a very typical ADHD problem). The solution was to schedule my day in greater detail, breaking the day into chunks of time with different chunks designated for different projects. Now this is a solution that anyone – ADHD or not – may arrive at. However, since I haven’t completely forgotten that I have ADHD, I’ve added some transition time so I can clear out my head before going onto the next task.

Mont Ventoux (Image source: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mont_ventoux_summit.jpg)

This new-found approach to problems is a result of my evolving relationship towards my ADHD. Having gone through the ADHD-version of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, I began with magical thinking (ADHD is a gift) to ADHD as a curse (the “evil” form of magical thinking?) to the highest stage where ADHD is no longer the center of my personal universe. Perhaps I reached level OT VIII? During this transformation and Petrarch-like ascent to the top of Mont Ventoux, I entered a whole new world, a postADHD world that provided a fantastic point of view. However, I am beginning to wonder if the transformation and ascent has been part illusion. While I no longer rock back and forth mumbling incoherently about my ADHD not that I ever did…but you get the picture, and I no longer put on a cape and run around the house exclaiming the virtues of my ADHD superpowers now that’s something I used to do!, I realized that my meta-morph-osis, my ascent, has become a game of ADHD Whac-A-Mole. As I went through the ADHD Hierarchy of Needs and my relationship to ADHD had changed, an old friend from childhood popped up. My anger issues were back.

Is dealing with your ADHD really a game of Whac-A-Mole? (Image source: http://switchgaming.blogspot.com/2008/09/game-for-helen-whac-mole.html)

I’ll be the first to admit that I have a limited repertoire of emotions and that anger has been the predominant one. But the anger issues that have resurfaced are not the good kinds of anger issues. Question: What are the “good” kinds of anger? Answer: anger that is motivated by indignation is the “good kind” of anger. I usually use the word “passionate” when discussing this type of anger, such as my being passionate about politics. I will argue vociferously with those of opposing viewpoints and, as I found out early in life, one best have all their facts lined up when doing so. I’ve also learned that many people aren’t really interested in facts because they aren’t really interested in dialogue that ends in a new understanding. Many people believe they ALREADY have the right point of view and anyone who believes something contrary to their beliefs is a meathead. They are anger issues that are all out of proportion to the particular frustration at hand and which often result in explosive anger. This anger has been aimed at those bastards who have parked in my parking spot after I spent hours shoveling snow to make a spot for MY car. There’s also some anger aimed at myself, such as when I forget something that I should have noted in my calendar, and some anger aimed at my HappyLight why did they give it that name? Whenever I say it I feel like one of those Krishnas wrapped in a bedsheet jumping up and down and chanting about  Harvey Krishner which seems to have a diminishing effect on my other F!#*!KING gift — Seasonal Affective Disorder — since it just cannot compensate for a week of gloomy, dark days. A part of me wondered if I am also HSP, since I seem to be the only one in the house who can hear water dripping from forty feet away, who notices the qualitative change in light from day to day and season to season, who cannot tolerate certain sounds (and if my F!*!KING parrots don’t shut up I’m going to make parrot fricassee!) but I refuse to read the book about highly sensitive people (what a shitty name! Every time I say it in my head I can hear the schoolyard taunts) because I don’t want another F*!#@KING acronym attached to me. Some of this anger may be justified, but when the anger does not subside, when it intensifies through its own feedback loop, then it becomes an anger issue. Coincidentally, the next local CHADD meeting will be focusing on anger management. I’ve rehearsed in my head how I will behave during that meeting. When all is quiet I will jump out of my seat and scream, in my best Howard Beale imitation, that I don’t have anger management issues and I’m not going to talk about it anymore. Then I’ll quietly sit down. So while I may have gone through the Hierarchy of ADHD Needs, I may not have made it to the top of Mont Ventoux.

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This video discusses the addition of negative numbers and other topics in basic mathematics

The question I ask is pretty straightforward. After viewing this video – Addition & Multiplication Practice – please let me know if you agree that the sum of two negative numbers is itself a negative number. For example, do you agree that -7 + -7 = -14? (You can leave your thoughts about this in the “comments” section of this post. I’d be very interested to know how you feel about this and, most importantly, how does this assertion potentially impact your self-esteem.) I bet you are still scratching your head wondering why I ask such a ridiculous question. Why would I ask you if you “agree” that the sum of two negative numbers is itself a negative number. The math is the math. The answer is what the answer is. It’s ridiculous to ask you if you “agree” with this. This much I think we can all agree on. (Slight pun intended.) But then what are we to make of a question recently posted on Facebook by the Edge Foundation? Their question was:

Do you agree with this 3 min. description of executive function & ADHD outlined by Dr. Russell Barklay [sic] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GR1IZJXc6d8&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Let me state right now that I have nothing against the Edge Foundation. However, I do have something against the use of the word “agree.” In the video, Dr. Barkley is not describing a theory that came to him the other day while he was taking a long, hot shower. He’s presenting a theory based on over 25 years of scientific research. The use of the word “agree” implies that Barkley is presenting something that we may not like, that may not comport with “our” reality. The use of the word “agree” gives us the right to DISagree with what Barkley says. By using a word that allows for DISagreement, as if the facts were not the facts, it leaves open the possibility for alternate explanations which, we know, are simply bright-sided, feel good theories of ADHD (it’s a gift; it’s a set of superpowers; it’s the basis of entrepreneurialism, blah, blah, blah). If someone believes that the theory is wrong, then one should provide alternate scientific evidence or should show how the data can be interpreted differently.

So, how should the question have been worded? The problem is that it WAS a question. It should not have been a question at all. By posing it as a question, it implies a level of doubt about the truthfulness of Barkley’s theory. Further, by posing it as a question, it opens the door for the perpetuation of alternate explanations of ADHD which, it seems, cluster around the kumbaya feel-good myths about ADHD. ADHD is a serious neurogenetic disorder. It’s time to take it seriously. It’s time to move beyond the “back-slapping, have-another-beer, throw-another-dime-in-the-jukebox” attitude that too many ADHDers perpetuate and, in so doing, undermine the true seriousness of this DISorder.

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