Teens, Sex and ADD ADHD

Feb 3rd, 2008 | Sex | No Comments

I think the title says it all. See: Teens, Sex and ADD ADHD | ADD ADHD Blog.com

Adult A.D.D. and Sex: A Frank Discussion

Jan 30th, 2008 | Sex | No Comments

For an enlightening discussion on a favorite topic, see: ADHD Forums - Sex in the ADD world..Your thoughts

I thank Tara Mcgillicuddy let me know about this particular discussion. 

Website: Midwest Teen Sex Show

Jan 8th, 2008 | Sex, Family | No Comments

This posting isn't A.D.D. related.

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I was so impressed by the way the website - Midwest Teen Sex Show - addresses the issues of sex and sexuality that I thought others, most especially parents of teenagers, should be aware of it.1 It uses video and a charmingly disarming narrator to examine important topics such as birth control, homosexuality, dealing with parents (the site's target audience is teenagers) and that "very first time." But what is so delightful about the site (yes, "delightful" is the right word to use here) is that it uses a serious/light-hearted dialectic that conveys the importance of what is being stated and, while the seriousness of it sinks it, it releases the tension that was just created. For example, in a video that deals with birth control methods, it points out the folly of relying on the "pull and pray" method of birth control (a/k/a Coitus Interruptus). Then after the seriousness sinks in, the tension is released by the narrator's admission that the two adorable children you see in the video are the result of her own use of "pull and pray." 

So, if you are a teenager…take a look at this website. Then show it to your parent(s). If you are a parent of teenager…take a look at this website. Then show it to your teenager. You might find that the website's treatment of sex and sexuality is exactly what is needed in order to openly discuss this most important of subjects.  

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  1. Don't be mislead by the website's name. It is NOT a site for voyeurs and pedophiles. [↩]

Adult A.D.D. & Sex - Enormous Interest…No Discussion

Nov 7th, 2007 | Sex | No Comments

It is quite interesting that the two postings on the subject of “adult A.D.D. and sex” has had the effect of tripling the amount of traffic on this website. In addition, the following search terms - adult add and sex, add and sexuality, adult add and sex problems, adult ADD sexuality, Adult ADD sex - appear again and again in the site’s web statistics. Yet despite the increase in web traffic there has not been a single comment about those posts. Everyone is thinking about the subject yet no one will talk about it.1

In my first posting on the subject I wondered if “adult A.D.D. and sex” was kind of like the “problem with no name.” Now I’m beginning to think that, based on the high website traffic and non-response (i.e., no posted comments), that it might be better described as “the problem that carries a lot of shame.”

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  1. See this post A.D.D. Friendly Porn? on Tara McGillicuddy’s blog and her comments about her website’s statistics. [↩]

Adult A.D.D. & Sex - Revisited

Oct 31st, 2007 | Sex | No Comments

ADD and sex: It’s a topic almost no one writes about, even though almost every adult with ADD I’ve treated has had an ADD-related sexual problem. One of the most common complaints is a lack of sexual intimacy. By this, I don’t mean no sex, but sex that doesn’t foster genuine emotional intimacy.Boredom with sex is one reason for the high rate of divorce among ADD couples.

Source: Rediscovering Romance With Your Partner

Spontaneity, outside-the-box creativity, and heightened energy can add pizzazz to romantic interludes. But these familiar ADD traits, if not properly managed, will sorely test even the strongest relationship.

Source: Let Romance Bloom In Your ADD Marriage

Heightened sensitivities [of the A.D.D.er] may apply to all senses, and this heightened awareness makes people with ADHD very sensual people. But sensuality works both ways. ADHD people tend to be extra sensitive to tastes, smells and sound, all of which may come into play during sex.

Source: How To Make Love to An ADDer

Adult A.D.D. & Sex

Oct 30th, 2007 | Sex | 4 Comments

Sex is a difficult topic to discuss in the United States. The puritanical strand of our society labels it as dirty and something to be avoided except, of course, for procreation. Our prurient side is highly attracted to it and whole industries would not exist if not for this attraction. In addition, there is an uneasiness in discussing the topic that is worsened by our stunted vocabulary. We can use terms that are cold and clinical or mere street slang. And there is another problem. The very act of discussing it is often interpreted to mean that we must be obsessed with it; after all, why would anyone discuss it unless they were obsessed with it? However, not discussing it and pretending it doesn’t exist can be worse (and maddening). How can you solve a problem unless it is discussed?1

Despite the lived contradictions and discomfort in discussing the topic, I offer the following excerpts (safely written by someone else, I might add) as a means of starting this discussion. Read the excerpts - and the entire article from which they come - with an open mind. You may not think that it applies to you but I will bet that you will find faint echoes that will make you pause and think.

[I]mpulsiveness are the hallmarks of ADD, as well as of sex addiction. Unable to set boundaries on their own behavior, those with ADD feel an intense need to continue forever — whether it is on a work project or an involvement in a sexual enactment. One definition of compulsion may very well be “a loss of control characterized by an intense desire to continue despite adverse consequences.”

A sense of deprivation emerges when compulsive sexualizing does not provide the gratification and satisfaction that results from experiencing intimacy with another person. Rather than sex being a way to bring two people closer, sexual enactments for the person with ADD can stem from intra-psychic conflict, from a narcissistic need for validation, and as a way to medicate the physiological symptoms of brain chemistry deregulation. The result is that sex takes up a disproportionately large place in his psychic equilibrium. His very sense of self depends on his sexuality.

Source: The Vicious Cycle of Adult ADD, Shame and Compulsive Sexuality

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Following added on Oct. 31, 2007

Scribeman01 posted this: ADHD and Kinky Sex?

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  1. This has echo’s of Friedan’s “the problem that has no name.” [↩]