Jeff's ADD Mind » Mental Fog http://jeffsaddmind.com If ADD Is A Gift...Can I Return It For Something Else? Fri, 18 May 2012 11:36:05 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 Pages From My Notebook http://jeffsaddmind.com/pages-from-my-notebook-adult-adhd-reflections-on-life-and-adhd-4256.htm http://jeffsaddmind.com/pages-from-my-notebook-adult-adhd-reflections-on-life-and-adhd-4256.htm#comments Wed, 14 Apr 2010 11:04:41 +0000 Jeff http://jeffsaddmind.com/?p=4256

Some days I just get tired of having to push myself. I wish I could just wake up and, voila, no more adhd!
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Oh!! Here’s a fcuking eye opener. I have a client who is definitely ADHD. They are god damned psychotic! They drop off the face of the earth and then, blam! they send an email with a gazzilion complaints. They complain about shit I asked them about but they never replied to my earlier emails. Thank god I somehow manage to remember what I previously emailed them. Now I know why people think ADHDers are crazy. That’s because they ARE!
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Did ya ever wake up thinking that somebody in the middle of the night wiped out your memory and yu need to spend the whole day trying to put your “self” back together? That reminds me of that movie with Dana Carvey where every day when he wakes up he has to play a tape recorder because his memory is completely blank and he has no clue who he is.

You’ll like this one. So I contact this client, who really pissed me off, and said, “Hey, let’s talk about 15 minutes or so to see how we can solve your issues?” And you know what? They STILL don’t f–king respond! I’m a pretty patient guy but they’re really testing my patience!!

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Is this it? Is this as good as life gets? Is my ride here on earth going to come to an end? Do I get one more shot? Would we be better off like the dumb beasts who have no consciousness of their ending? And this is the sick joke created by God? He is so f–king powerful and yet he can’t make us be immortal? He can’t make us live a gazillion years?  So..what…we should worship Him and be thankful that we KNOW we are going to die? Wow. Some f–king god if you ask me. I want a god that creates a body that doesn’t slowly deteriorate. Oh, here’s one better. A non-deteriorating, non-adhd body. Now let’s see if God  is all powerful!

ADHDers think 2 dimensionally but live 3 dimensionally (they just don’t know they are living 3 dimensionally)

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Ok, so here’s the concept. Non-adhders live in 3 dimensional space defined as x, y and z being time (of course, I should probably have x, y,z and THEN time but, hey , my drawing skills are already taxed as it is). NOn-adhders know that they exist in this time dimension but ADHDers don’t know that about themselves. So imagine that we have a plane bounded by x & y and that plane moves along the Z axis but ADHDers have NO CLUE that this is happening. They are only (next)

aware of the plane they exist in. They move along the Z axis but have no idea they are even doing this.

This is the ADHDer at, say, moment one. And here at moment two, and so on. From the outside observer, the adhder is moving IN time (at least along the time axis) BUT the adhder, because their perspective is stuck in this plane (we are looking at it from the side) has no clue this is happening.

Why does the huffington post publish this new age, narcissistic bullshit? They are undercutting the seriousness of the news they report when they publish this garbage. When huffington post started they were real serious about stuff and tried to put out a different viewpoint. They publish so much of this trash (and lots of pictures of semi-nude women…not that I’m a prude or anything but imagine that the new york times started printing hot pics of women mixed in with their news…would you take anything seriously anything they wrote?) that there are times when I hate  the website. Arianna should decide, you want the site to be serious or shoulod it appeal to all wack jobs equally?

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]]> http://jeffsaddmind.com/pages-from-my-notebook-adult-adhd-reflections-on-life-and-adhd-4256.htm/feed 16 Lost Time and “The Fog” http://jeffsaddmind.com/lost-time-and-the-fog-45.htm http://jeffsaddmind.com/lost-time-and-the-fog-45.htm#comments Sun, 22 Jul 2007 15:04:55 +0000 Jeff http://jeffsaddmind.com/lost-time-and-the-fog-45.htm What has put me into the deepest of depressions is the realization of how much time has been lost. My perpetual mental “fog” lifts – albeit momentarily – only to reveal that I’ve been mentally asleep for so long it seems I’m starting life anew. There are so many things I should have done which can ONLY be done by using time to your advantage – like saving for my kids college tuition, or heck, ANY DAMNED SAVINGS – that a part of you is desperate to do something…anything…that you think will help to relieve the anguish.

When you are embedded in the fog – that mental radio1 that tunes all stations simultaneously with each competing for your attention – daily psychical survival (turning off the radio? detuning it? smashing it?) is the only thing that you focus on. You are like the deranged who hear voices in their head and desperately wish to make it stop. And somehow you do make it stop but using self-destructive methods: day dreaming, delusions of self-worth, drugs (illegal ones or “legal” ones like alcohol, tobacco or prescription drugs), carb overload (eating till your brain feels at ease…I often eat some sort of carbs in the evening which has a calming effect allowing me to sleep…sorta) . You grip onto anything that will stop you from sinking into the abyss: a significant other that seems to offer stability (often you control that significant other and manipulate them into some sort of submission so that you are in control and you are in control over the only thing you can control which is that other person…after all, you damned well know that you can’t control yourself). Each day slips by with little being accomplished except for the awaited arrival of your imaginary deus ex machina (a lucrative business deal? a magical inheritance?) that will resolve the daily mental struggles that will, so you hope, make the chaos go away. But it does not arrive and so, another day comes and again you are in the fog.

1- See: The Tyranny of Now

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]]> http://jeffsaddmind.com/lost-time-and-the-fog-45.htm/feed 18 The Mental Etch-A-Sketch http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-mental-etch-a-sketch-42.htm http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-mental-etch-a-sketch-42.htm#comments Fri, 20 Jul 2007 04:44:17 +0000 Jeff http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-mental-etch-a-sketch-42.htm If my brain is like an Etch-A-Sketch© with lines going every which way, then my mid-afternoon nap is like shaking the Etch-A-Sketch©…all lines are erased and I can begin with nice clean canvas.

While looking for a cute image to use with this post, a quick Google turned up this:

Etch-A-Sketch Museum

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]]> http://jeffsaddmind.com/the-mental-etch-a-sketch-42.htm/feed 0 Like Rip Van Winkle http://jeffsaddmind.com/like-rip-van-winkle-33.htm http://jeffsaddmind.com/like-rip-van-winkle-33.htm#comments Tue, 10 Jul 2007 01:45:27 +0000 admin http://jeffsaddmind.com/like-rip-van-winkle-33.htm I feel I’ve been asleep for the past ten years…and just woke up only to realize that the whole world has passed me by. I’ve spent the past ten years in “the tyranny of now” with nearly all (most?) of my time spent on fighting the daily onslaught of too much mental chatter. On some level I thought something magical was going to happen (what? money would suddenly drop down from the sky? the business deal of a lifetime would magically appear?) and spent much of my day, well, day dreaming.

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I found the following quote: “Sometimes people with AD/HD are years behind the curve” from The Splintered Mind.

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