"Melancholia, far from error or defect, is an almost miraculous invitation to rise above the contented status quo and imagine untapped possibilities. We need sorrow, constant and robust, to make us human, alive, sensitive to the sweet rhythms of growth and decay, death and life."
Source: The miracle of melancholia
According to a recent study:
I was quite excited to purchase a copy of Jennifer Koretsky’s Odd One Out. I have been reading her newsletter since 2005 and found that it was easy to read and it always offered useful ideas. So when I got the book I expected some deep, philosophical tome based on years of writing a newsletter.1 What I found instead was a deceptively simple book. Notice the word “deceptive.” Herein lies the genius of the book (and, I believe, the genius of her newsletters). It deals with very serious problems - such as the feeling of being overwhelmed and issues of time and structure - and it offers solutions using easy to understand language.2 And in case you missed an important point when reading the book, key phrases are printed in boldface type. That makes it is easy to go back and find something you read a few days earlier and, believe me, you will be going back to this book again and again.
Why do I like this book so much? Part of it is that the theme of the book - that you should learn how to work with your A.D.D. and not against it - resonates with my current situation in life. Jennifer’s suggestions - learn how to de-stress, take time to “recharge” your body, make sleep a priority, do not judge yourself using unrealistic criteria3 - make sense to me because I’ve been struggling for several years and I’m ready to make important changes. Further, Jennifer’s book corroborates what I had only recently discovered on my own, namely that my A.D.D. will not go away, that it may resurface at inconvenient times and there is nothing I can do about that. That’s just the A.D.D. life.
So if you too have hit the wall with your A.D.D. and are ready to make some changes then take a look at this book. It may turn out to be exactly what you need to finally take control of your A.D.D.
__________________Maybe it isn’t just coincidence that A.D.D.ers are attracted to the high tech field and to computers in general.
See: Top 10 Advantages of ADD in a High Tech Career.
Don’t be confused by the title of this post. I’m all in favor of happiness. But when someone offers tips on how to be happy I feel the urge to strangle that person. My inner A.D.D. child screams, “WAKE UP! THERE’S A WORLD OF PROBLEMS THAT NEED TO BE SOLVED.” This inner scream is often accompanied by the memory of a trip to Manhattan when, on a cold and windy winter day, a group of Hare Krishnas wearing nothing more than some dirty rags, were jumping up and down in the freezing cold while chanting “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare” and playing finger cymbals. I’d look at their shaved heads, their flowing rags, their incessant jumping and their tiny cymbals and think, “Sure they are happy. They’re nuts!” So for much of my life I’ve associated “happiness” with self-delusion and these freezing, jumping lunatics who are oblivious to their surroundings.
With this in mind, I now present to you the Handbook for Life: 52 Tips for Happiness and Productivity. The most important tip in this “handbook” is not even a part of the handbook but is part of the introduction to the handbook.
Pick and choose the tips that will be most useful to you. There are 52 tips here — not every single one will be useful to every person. I hope you’ll find 10 that are useful, or that are reminders of something you’ve been wanting to do.
As an A.D.D.er, this is one that really jumped out at me.
No. 35: Be present. Time can go by extremely quickly. Before you know it, your life has passed you by. Your kids are grown and your youth is gone. Don’t let your life slip by — enjoy it while it’s here. Instead of dwelling in the past or thinking about the future, practice being in the here and now.
I’ve spent much of my life reading articles like “12 tips to a better life” and “10 tips for saving money.” And I’ve tried to follow the tips and found that often they don’t work. Maybe it’s because they are not usually written by an A.D.D.er for an A.D.D.er. No matter, the real problem is that they lack a warning label - YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary), DNWFE (Does Not Work For Everyone), DNTAAO (Do Not Try All At Once) - which would alert you to the fact that not all of these tips may work for you. In fact, none of them may work! Instead, they should be presented, not as categorical imperatives but as suggestions, much like the New York City traffic laws (”Come to a full stop at a stop sign,” “Pedestrians have the right of way”). That is, they are not hard and fast rules but are suggested methods that one might want to follow. And if the suggestion doesn’t fit into your lifestyle…don’t worry…ignore it.
With these caveats in mind I’d like to point you to this recent posting that I found: 25 Tips to Become More Happy and Productive at Work.1 Some of the tips are great2 but what’s most important is that you take a look at this list. You might want to try one or two, see if it fits your lifestyle, and then try to incorporate it into your daily living. For example, the very first tip says
Keep a question like this at your desk to help you stay focused: ‘Am I making the most of my time right now?’.
I happen to have the following taped onto my computer monitor: “Hope Is Not A Plan Of Action. ”3 Tip Number 12 is one that I definitely need to think about: “Pace Yourself, Especially on Bad Days. Go slow. Don’t be in a hurry. Just take one thing at a time and keep moving forward.” I have a habit of not pacing myself and thereby having one productive day followed by one day (or more!!) of burnout.
So, take the chicken soup approach. Have a look at the list. No guarantee that any of the tips will make you more productive but looking at it couldn’t hurt.
__________________
[↩]- Confucius
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