I went all the way.

I exposed myself.

I went to my first CHADD meeting.

*          *          *

I was excited! The blogger extraordinaire — ME!! — making his big, public debut. I brought my Jeff’s ADD Mind business cards. I brought copies of my latest post, the review of The ADHD Activity Book. I wore my ADHD outfit – black jeans, black boots and a white and gray striped shirt.¹ And the part I am most proud of, I printed the directions to the meeting directly from the CHADD chapter website. I was sure I could not get lost since the directions had to be written by an ADHDer for an ADHDer.

Directions to Nassau County CHADD

Like a Talmudic scholar I analyzed the directions, parsing each word to determine its true meaning.

“Piece of cake,” I thought. “I can’t get lost with these simple directions even if I’ve never been there before.”

Famous last words.

For me, driving to a new place is like driving in the desert. Everything looks the same.

“See that grain of sand over there? Make a left, go straight for twelve sand dunes, then make a right.”

Which grain of sand?

“That light brown one.”

They ALL look light brown!!

(How do people ever find a f*cking thing with these kinds of directions?)

I followed the directions provided by the CHADD chapter.

Take Meadowbrook Parkway South to Hempstead Turnpike East.

Okay. I know that parkway. No problem.

Southbound was going smoothly…until it wasn’t. Traffic halted. There was an accident ahead. But it didn’t take long for it to clear and I was again looking for “Hempstead Turnpike East.” I suspected I passed the exit but the sign didn’t say “Hempstead Turnpike East.”

When I saw road signs for the beach I knew I went too far. (FYI to non-New Yawkers. When you go north or south on Long Island (it’s an ISLAND, get it?), you eventually reach water: Long Island Sound when going north; Atlantic Ocean when going south.)

I found a place to turn around. Now I was northbound. You know what? Still no sign that says “Hempstead Turnpike East.” But I went with my earlier hunch and found the correct exit.²

At first light, turn right onto Merrick Ave.

Perfect!! I found this street without a hitch!

Go approximately 2 miles. Make a slight left onto Bellmore Ave.

I found this slight left by accident. (“This looks important. I’ll turn here.”) It might have been helpful if the directions said that this was a BIG intersection. In fact, it’s a major fork in the road and there’s a large diner on the right hand side. Hard to miss that diner even if you’re nearsighted like me.

Turn left onto Prospect Ave. 0.1 mile on your right.

I found this by accident too. I could barely read the street signs (it was 7:30PM and it was already dark and I’m in a panic) but I figured that maybe, just maybe, this street was at the traffic light. I was correct. It would have been helpful if the directions said, “At the traffic light…..”

I parked, scooped up my business cards and copies of my book review and searched for the entrance. I try a few doors (“Why is it locked? Isn’t this the place?”). I found an unlocked door and headed down the stairs. There were two women at a sign-in table. One of them asked for  five dollars.

“I didn’t know this meeting cost anything.”

It’s free but we pay for the room.

“I hope this comes with coffee and donuts,” I joked.

I was kind of right. There was coffee and Oreos™.

As I was led to the support group meeting…panic! “Shit, where’s my cell phone? Did I put it down on the table? Is it in my shirt pocket?”

Whew! Found it.

The phone was squeezed under my arm. Attached to that arm was the hand that was holding a hot cup of coffee. At least I spilled it on the floor and not on my shirt.

“Here it is.”

I expected a large group.

There was a man, a woman, and a doctor.

With some difficulty I controlled my mouth (to a degree).

I was quite impressed by the doctor.

My blog business card

I handed out my business cards and copies of my book review.

“I hope everyone has a sense of humor.”

The crickets chirped.

The man said, “I think I saw your blog.”

The woman said, “I don’t own a computer.” I figure she’s not a regular reader of my blog.

At 8:30PM we went to the main meeting room for the parent workshop: “AD/HD: To Medicate or Not to Medicate.” The speaker — James B. Snyder, MD — was extraordinarily knowledgeable. As he addressed parent concerns about stimulant medications, he touched on the nuances of prescribing medications: if you give drug X, check blood pressure regularly…blah, blah, blah.

He never mentioned that ADHD was a gift.

Surprising omission.

But he did say that children with ADHD can be like Lamborghinis that are equipped with Hyundai brakes.

(I think I’m a Dodge Charger with Edsel brakes.)

I gave out a few more of my business cards.

Still no adoring blog fans.

I stood off to the side for most of the workshop, behind the sales rep from Shire plc. (He was there “to observe” and the speaker made a point of saying that this was a CHADD meeting, not a drug-sponsored meeting, and therefore he (the speaker) was free to say whatever he wants to say.)

I drifted from the book sale table in the back to the information table on the side to the table that had lemonade and Oreos™.

Eventually, I sat down.

*           *          *

I’ll be going to more of these meetings. It feels good to be in the presence of so many “gifted” people.

And now that I’ve been there once, I won’t get lost.

1. The complete ensemble really requires a black shirt. See the second video in this He Said /She Said Series for information on my ADHD outfit.
2. FYI to CHADD chapter. There is NO SIGN AT ALL that says “Hempstead Turnpike East.”

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Reality continues to ruin my life. – Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes)

Image source: http://rhonabennett.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/jennifer-lopez-2.jpg

Damn! JLo looks mighty fine!! Curves in all of the right places and she’s looking right at me!! And once she gets with me, I’ll have her screaming in ecstasy!! She’ll beg me to stop!! She’ll wonder how she managed to live without me all of these years!! She’ll get rid of Marc Anthony so she can be available for me and ONLY me. Bet you don’t think this will happen, eh? Well, you are wrong! She owns a house here on Long Island and it’s only five miles from my home. One day she’ll walk into the local Wendy’s. I’ll be there enjoying a Number 6 Combo (Spicy Chicken Sandwich, French Fries, Diet Coke). Her spicy Latina blood will notice my Spicy Chicken Sandwich. As the soft fluorescent lights create an Adonis-like glow around my bald head and I turn in her direction, she will notice me, stop and smile. I will smile back. Her gaze will shift to my t-shirt. She will notice my ham radio call sign emblazoned across my chest and, at that moment, an epiphany. She realizes she is in the presence of greatness: the blogger extraordinaire, the founder of Jeff’s ADD Mind, is looking right at her. He is here in the local Wendy’s, the VERY SAME Wendy’s that she has entered. JLo’s sexual autonomic system takes over. She pushes Marc aside. She comes to my table. She extends her hand. All is quiet. I look in her eyes and hold her soft, sweet hand in mine. I bow my head. I caress her hand with my tongue, each gentle movement expressing my love for her. I close my eyes. I sense the movement of her body, her womanly hips slowly moving in rhythm to the movement, to the heat of my tongue. She imagines what pleasures await her when I can finally use it to bring her womanhood to the height of multiple orgasmic pleasure. Then…I pause. I lift my head, her eyes communicating her growing desire for me. I rise up. (Yes!!! I RISE UP!! My 52 year old plumbing is still working!!)  My hand caresses her hip as we slowly move to the middle of the restaurant. The customers move their tables to the back, arranging them as if we were in the Copa, the Copacabana (it’s the hottest spot north of Havana). Music and passion takes hold of our tingling bodies, the music comes up and the lights dim. We move in sensual rhythms. I can hear the other women moaning as they watch me, this Don Juan of the blogosphere, with my HOT Latina lover. We feel their pheromonic intensity sweep over our bodies. JLo’s eyes tell me that it’s time for us to leave, it is time to take our love to the next step. I don’t say a word. My gaze moves downward towards her sweat-glistening breasts. We stop. I bring her close to me so my tongue can move down her neck. I taste the droplets of love. My tongue pauses, for what seems like an eternity, in her womanly cleavage. I hear her voice. JLo is talking to me. Her voice gets louder. I lift up my head and look in her eyes. She has my full attention.

- dad. Dad. DAD!! EARTH TO DAD! EARTH TO DAD!

- Uh…yeah. What is it?

- [sotto voce] Can I finish your fries?

- Sure. You can have them.

Handing my french fries to my younger daughter, I stand up and take my tray to the garbage pail. I scan the restaurant. JLo is nowhere to be found.

Here lies the major problem with ADHD and sex: reality keeps rearing its ugly head. Not that the sex life of some adult ADHDers is necessarily terrible, it’s just that things tend to be much hotter, much kinkier in your mind than in reality. Sometimes (alright, I’ll admit it…ALL THE TIME) you want to push reality in the direction of the “imagined” sex life. Yet no matter how many black leather outfits or toys you bring to “the event,” still, something is not quite right.  To make matters worse, the reality of our sex lives are entwined with the fantasy of our sex lives that, in turn, are entwined with the cinematic version of our “imagined” sex lives. (ADHDers are certainly not the only ones who suffer from this problem.) In this fantasy scenario of me and JLo, there are bits and pieces of reality. It is an amalgam of experiences culled from 35 years of experiences, entwined with various fantasies and numerous movies I have seen.¹ However, only in our minds or during the rarest of occasions do so many of these experiences unfold as one complete movie, as one complete script that is read (performed!) from beginning to end. Perhaps an ADHDer’s abbreviated sexual attention span is, in part, an effort to create a sexual cinematic experience in real time that has all the action adventure of their imagined porno movie. Their internal “sex director” is thinking about the next scene even though the current scene may not have been completed. (“Okay. Let’s wrap up the ‘Screaming in Ecstasy’ scene and move onto the “Swing from the Ceiling” scene. Make it fast! We have twelve more scenes to go!”)

This movie was meant to be a spoof of the television show

My imagined porno movie begins with a soft touch, a gentle kiss that builds to deep, passionate kissing that then builds to a swashbuckling frenzy of sweat, scent and heat that reaches a crescendo of ecstasy culminating in a  climactic ending leaving me and my partner exhilarated and exhausted as our sweat-drenched bodies fill the room (or our car…or our secret spot in the woods) with the heat of passion. I will bet that at least once (maybe more than once?) in your life you had an experience that was very much like this. The problem, though, is some ADHDers want it to be this way every single time. Unfortunately that’s not always possible. There’s that annoying “reality” that gets in the way. Your mind may be willing but you or your partner are too tired. Then there are work pressures, financial pressures and the pressure of daily life itself that may interfere. Even when the sex is really good, it may still fall short of the fantasy (cinematic) version. But even if it does approach it or even reproduces it(!), it does not matter to the ADHDer. Once the dopamine levels drop it’s time to do it again.

POSTSCRIPT

As in many things concerning adult ADHD, there are no definitive statements about sex and ADHD. Some ADHDers are sex-obsessed because sex has become a means of self-medication while others, when they do have sex, do it halfheartedly at best because their minds are thinking about other things, such as their gardening project.

The links below address the various dimensions of ADHD and sexuality. You may find them to be of interest.

Related Posts in the Blogosphere

• Hyper-sexuality with an ADHD Spouse
• Sex Drive and ADHD in Adults
• Distracted During Sex
• Sexuality and ADHD Women
• ADHD and Sex: No Shame, No Blame
• Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll, Part III: Sex
• Is Sex important to someone with ADHD?

From my collection of faux Magazines

Get the MP3 version of this post and listen to it on your computer or iPod.

Note: To save the files to your computer, right-click on the link and select “Save Link As” if you are using FireFox, or select “Save Target As” if you are using Internet Explorer.

Part I

Part II

1. Allow me to clarify. I didn’t have sex for 35 years. I had sex at various times over the course of 35 years. Further, while some readers of this blog know that, of my many careers, I was once a movie projectionist, they may not know that for the first two years of that career that I worked in adult movie houses, aka porno theaters. Talk about an ADHD fantasy come true!

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…we have no clue how to educate people. That’s why star teachers and star principals stand out because we don’t know how to create educators and we don’t know how to educate. The kids go into school dumb…they pick up some basic skills…they come out just as dumb but now they can read the newspaper.

Zoë disagreed with this analysis (you’ll have to read the blogchat for her counterargument). But I ask you, the reader, do you know of any children that went into school with only middling intelligence and then came out of the system a genius? a thinker? If the school system really knew how to educate people, how to make them think, we would not have a world populated with Sarah Palins, Glenn Becks, etc. Our school system currently talks a good game about differentiated curriculum, multiple intelligences and so forth. But how many schools have really implemented change based on this “new think”? The answer is: barely a handful.

Q.E.D.

P.S. Please see my other video supplement for The “Education” of an ADHDer blogchat.

Though a bit outdated, the basic analysis in the book The Great School Legend is still relevant. Our school system is not the magic elixir we like to think it is. The following abstract is from ERIC.

American schools have been credited with building American democracy. This is a myth which has been largely responsible for the resistance of today’s schools to needed change. Exposing this myth are records of several major urban school systems which show the high rate of school failure among the urban poor since before 1900. These statistics have been ignored in the past in favor of maintaining the American dream, and they are particularly significant and relevant for today’s largely black urban poor, who are held responsible for failing to make the same good use of the schools their predecessors did. While professing to ameliorate society’s ills, the American school system has always been conservative and reflexive, serving only to maintain the status quo of American institutions under the guise of progressivism, liberalism and reformism. If the American school system is truly to help the poor and disadvantaged and act as a democratizing agent, and thus facilitate social change, it must first reexamine the historical analysis of American education with a radical rethinking of our contemporary social crisis.

For an interesting book on how education reproduces the power structure (this book is also in need of updating but its general premises are still relevant) see Preparing for Power: America’s Elite Boarding Schools By Peter W. Cookson and Caroline Hodges Persell. The following is from one of the summaries found on the Amazon page for this book:

…the authors visited more than 60 elite prep schools in the United States and England, interviewing administrators, faculty, students, and alumni. Attended by less than one per cent of the high school population, these schools turn out a disporportionate number of business, professional, and government leaders. The authors argue that the philosophies, programs, and lifestyles of boarding schools help transmit the power and privilege of elite families. They show how students are selected and examine the curricula, teaching styles, student underlife, and the link between prep school attendance and admission to the “right”‘ universities and the corporate boardroom.

• He Said / She Said: Examining the ADHD Life – The “Education” of an ADHDer, Part I
• He Said / She Said: Examining the ADHD Life – The “Education” of an ADHDer, Part II

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(Transcription of ransom note:

I am holding you hostage

You must give in to my demands

I am not kidding

If you do not do everything I ask,

you will be mine forever)

I have given in to all your demands so why are you still holding me hostage? I did exactly what you wanted. Here’s the short list. Look at it. I did what you asked.

1. “Drop out of school” – Did it.
2. “Walk away from numerous career opportunities.” – Did it.
3. “Get involved in drugs.” – Did it.
4. “Smoke cigarettes.” – Did it for years.
5. “Self-medicate with sex.” -  Did it. (OK…I admit…I didn’t mind doing this one.)
6. “Be in a fog for weeks at a time.”- Did it.
7. “Forget to pay bills.”- Did it.
8. “Give the gift to my children”- Did it.
9. “Get involved in hare-brained get rich quick schemes” – Did it.
10. “Forget doctor appointments” – Did it.

Isn’t this enough for you? Now will you let me go?

You’re joking, right? You mean to tell me that you need more? Well, F-CK YOU! HERE’S MORE! HERE’S THREE YEARS WORTH OF YOUR DEMANDS DESCRIBED IN DETAIL IN THIS BLOG!

Why are you looking at me like that?

Oh. I see. You’re not going to read the blog..are you.

That’s what I thought.

So let’s stop the charade.

It doesn’t really matter what I do.

You will never let me go.

It’s not about giving in to your demands. It’s about proving how you have ultimate control. It’s about how you – ADHD – have the ultimate power over me and how you can use it any time you want and any way you want.

I may still be your hostage. You may dictate all of my actions but you still can’t stop me from saying to you, F-CK YOU! As long as I have the ability to say that whenever I want to, then someday, somehow, I’ll be able to figure out how to escape your grip.

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© 2010 - Jeffrey Siegel

I’m excited to announce that I will be collaborating with Zoë Kessler (check out her blog! ADHD from A to Zoë and my post about her blog) in what we believe will be a fascinating examination of the ADHD experience. I’m looking forward to having lively discussions with Zoë and sharing them with you. I think you’re going to enjoy Zoë’s warmth, honesty, intelligence and clear-headed approach to the adult ADHD life and associated life issues.

The impetus for our collaboration is based on our similarities and, of course, our differences.

Similarities: We are both adult ADHDers who were diagnosed late in life – Zoë, four years ago and me, six years ago. We’re 51 and 52 years old respectively; our birth dates are days apart; we use our cars as a drum kit when we drive (and some of our favs are Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Green Day). We both love gardening, cooking, and we each have a diabetic dog…spooky! (Did I mention that we were both philosophy majors?)

Differences: Despite the similarities, a number of significant factors are at play that create important differences. Geography and environment (me, urban American (a New Yawka), Zoë, rural Canadian); gender; career paths; marital status (married with children, Zoë is single); birth status (child of immigrants, Zoë is an adoptee). As we delve into the subject matter we will no doubt uncover many more differences and the effect these differences have had on our ADHD lives.

The “He Said / She Said” Series Will Appear On Zoë’s Blog

Readers of Jeff’s ADD Mind Will Be Informed When New Series-Related Posts Appear

CLICK HERE To Read The Introduction and Part I of the “He Said / She Said” Series

About Zoë Kessler

Zoë is an author and regularly contributing blogger at psychcentral.com. Her popular blog is called ADHD from A to Zoë.  Ms. Kessler is also a contributing writer to ADDitude magazine, MORE Magazine, CBC Radio One, and others on a variety of ADHD-related topics. She’s written, produced and performed ADHD standup comedy, and her upcoming book, Chick-A-D-D (working title) is widely anticipated. Let’s hope she gets over her procrastination long enough to finish writing it!

About Jeff Siegel

Jeff has lived the life of a typical adult ADHDer. In addition to an ever-growing list of unfinished projects, he has had numerous careers such as adjunct lecturer; movie projectionist; shoe salesman and, his current pursuit, web developer. For several years Jeff has been blogging about his atypical life (though typical for an ADHDer). Because of his varied interests, his blog touches on many other topics such as cooking, philosophy, and politics.

When Zoë suggested to Jeff that they collaboratively examine various adult ADHD issues, his response was: “Absolutely! This could be quite exciting. We can bring different perspectives – male versus female – to the very same issues.” Jeff hopes that, in addition to enlightening the readers, they can solve world hunger and usher in a new peace that would last for generations.

Disclaimer: Although the He Said / She Said series is a collaborative effort between Zoë Kessler and Jeff Siegel, each author speaks for her or himself and the opinions expressed are solely those of the respective authors, in both the He Said / She Said series, as well as in their respective blogs: ADHD from A to Zoë and Jeff’s A.D.D. Mind

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Is Zoë praying that she finds my brilliantly written blog that will make me rich and famous?

It’s not often that you find a blog that so resonates with your soul that all you can do is read post after post after post while having a silly grin on your face as you nod in agreement with so, so many things and…yet… that’s exactly what happened to me when I found Zoë Kessler’s blog ADHD From A to Zoë.¹ I was astounded to find out that someone else also uses their car as a concert stage (I sing along at the top of my lungs, turning my car into a drum kit), or that they still play air guitar in public (I’ve always skipped down the sidewalk if I felt like it, even though I’m now 51 years old. The other day, the sun broke out in the afternoon, after a long, dark Canadian winter. As I walked along the sidewalk downtown, I sang an old Lou Reed song in my head. By the time I got to the refrain, “I Wanna Go to New York City,” I was really getting into it. It wasn’t until I was in the middle of the intersection at a green light that I caught myself playing air guitar. Right there. In public. At an intersection.) or that they spend many, many useful hours examining Google Analytics (Analytics lets ADHDers put in all kinds of procrastination time while tracking statistics from their blog site.) But why do her posts so resonate with me? Is it because we share the same potential for genius, also known as ADHD? Is it because we are about the same age and love the same music? (She loves Hendrix AND Janis Joplin AND Green Day!) Or is it because we share similar physical characteristics? (Click here to see the side-by-side comparison.) I’m not sure what’s the ultimate factor but, damn, I’m glad I know about her blog.

So, you haven’t clicked on any of those links yet? What are you waiting for? A frakkin’ invitation? Well, here it is!! Go! Click Now!! You must read ADHD from A to Zoë. And remember…readers who click within the next 30 minutes will get a FREE, that’s right, a FREE Veg-a-Matic!! It slices! It dices! It juliennes!! But wait!! There’s even more!! For a small shipping and handling fee of $99.95 I’ll throw in a FREE Jack La Lanne Power Juicer!!² So…click already…will ya?

1. Well, to be more accurate, she found my blog first which led me to her blog.
2. This offer only valid while supplies last and is limited to sizes/styles available. You must click on the link within 30 minutes and it must be done prior to June 16,11:59 AM (EST) to qualify. This offer cannot be combined with any other offer and this promotional offer may be modified or terminated at any time without notice. All pricing is valid only with the 48 contiguous states. Additional charges apply to residents of Alaska, Hawaii, and that country to the north (Canada?).

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Jeff's ADHD Magazine Rack

The one below is not ADHD-related but…what the heck.

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I know you think you failed but you did not. You had a setback.
You didn’t do enough planning. You didn’t do enough research. You didn’t wait for the right moment.

When children learn to walk, they fall many times before they succeed. But they do not fail. They stand up and try again. That’s really the point. How many times did you stand up after falling down? It is only when you fall down and refuse to get up again that you can say that you may have failed. But if you get up after having fallen…no matter how much time may have passed…if you get up…then you have not failed.
(For a dear friend)

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Note to the Reader: This post was written by Ian Ford. He has managed to control his ADHD, not with “meds and therapy” but using alternate methods that have given him the ability to be in control of his life. I think you’ll find his story to be interesting. – Jeff

When I was a child, I lived in the bliss of ignorance.  I didn’t know I was different, at least not consciously.  I did know that I was extremely good at things that interested me, and terrible at things that didn’t.  I was called lazy and scatterbrained, smart and adept.  I was, and still am, a math wiz and computer geek, but holding a normal conversation has been practically impossible throughout most of my life.  Paying attention in class or doing any uninteresting activity eluded me and I was always distracted.  I avoided any task that required mental focus.  Fortunately, the other side of this difficulty contained an ability to comprehend and assimilate certain things very quickly, as long as they interested me and I didn’t have to think too hard.  Concentration and focus were entirely foreign to me, but I struggled through somehow.

I started drinking when I was in college and discovered that a little alcohol helped streamline my thoughts.  It even helped me study, and I earned a degree in computer engineering – hooray for self-medicaton.  Unfortunately, I have an addictive nature so drinking got way out of hand after a few years and I had to stop entirely.  This left me back where I started, and in fact, a little worse off as it affected my health and well-being.  Feeling unhealthy most of the time really exacerbated my mental state, and I spent a few years being almost useless.

I was lost for some time, until I stumbled on the terms “A.D.D.” and “A.D.H.D.”.  This gave substance and form to my struggle, and I was so gratified to discover that I wasn’t simply a freak but in fact had a condition that could be managed!  I started seeking treatment options, and in short order discovered that, as with alcohol, the ‘normal’ means of dealing with this didn’t work for me.  Well, if nothing else, I’m better at thinking outside the box than inside it.

The first thing I found is that fighting ADHD was pretty much impossible, so embracing it was a better answer. The medications made life even worse for me, and I found that some of my abilities – to see and hear things others didn’t notice, or to multitask efficiently – were gone. These things are vital in my work.  I tried exercise, but going to the gym did not hold my attention, neither did jogging, nor yoga – although yoga helped a bit I had trouble following through with it.

Finally I stumbled upon a martial arts school near my apartment, and I started taking classes. It helped a little right away, but more importantly, it held my attention and therefore I continued to exercise. Pretty quickly I noticed that my attention and actions started taking a less scattered direction, not much at first but enough. After about three or so years of training and building up, I reached advanced levels and took some additional disciplines, some that included meditation.

Another view on treating ADHD without medication

Bingo. This is the point at which things really started coming together. The physical training coupled with Ch’an meditation techniques gave me a more consistent control which I had rarely experienced beforehand. I’m now able to use ADHD instead of fighting it. I can have a ‘normal’ conversation that others can follow. I can complete boring but necessary tasks (although juggling two or three is easier) and, once again, I can read a book. I can multitask in a way that makes me quite valuable at work and I can enjoy a cup of coffee with little fear of babbling. And I can still hear and see things others miss. There is still the occasional day when things are difficult, especially when I’m low on sleep, but good days are the rule and not the exception.

Meditation allows me to go beyond, or maybe behind, the scattered thoughts to a mental place that has continuity.  There is a Mind behind my mind, and being in that place is my key to dealing with A.D.H.D.  This is not to say that I have eliminated the problem; it still arises constantly. But I’ve trained myself to think before I talk, to listen to others before I finish their sentences, and to occasionally take a moment to compose myself before continuing.  I’ve gained something and lost nothing.

This journey taught me to embrace my true nature and work from there, instead of ‘swimming against the current’ and making no headway. Good luck to everyone, everywhere, in finding themselves!

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