The Problem of Adult ADHD and Friendship – ADHD and Loneliness, Part V

T his is from “ADHD: Everyone Needs Friends, Especially Adults with ADHD by Attention Talk Radio

“Everyone needs a friend, even those with ADHD and especially adults with ADHD. In this episode of Attention Talk Radio, hosts Jeff Copper and Kirsten Milliken interview returning guest Dr. Ari Tuckman about the need for friends, what makes a good friend, and how to find good friends. Together, they share advice on what to expect from a friend and what is expected of you as a friend, as well as the impact of ADHD on friendships. Their conversation includes tips around handling sensitive situations, when it’s time to move on, and more. If you have ADHD, you will find this show to be very insightful!”

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  • Loknar28


    I just created a petition: Director NIMH: Meaningful NIMH recognition of
    ADHD as a lifelong disorder, because I care deeply about this very
    important issue.

    I’m trying to collect 100 signatures, and I could really use your help.

    To read more about what I’m trying to do and to sign my petition, click here:

    It’ll just take a minute!

    Once you’re done, please ask your friends to sign the petition as well.
    Grassroots movements succeed because people like you are willing to
    spread the word!


    • Paintedlady418

      I signed it only wanted my ex to get help he refused I had to leave him denial too sad

  • Anonymous

    It will happen at times that friends, business partners and even close family members will assume we intended to disrespect them. We will use inappropriate words and not behave as well as mature adults are expected to behave in our society. We will also react impulsively and become overly defencive when we are accused of being disrespectful.

     Not every day and at all times do we have these symptoms. We, (or maybe should say “I”?) have learned to recognize the warning signals of the beast, known as ADHD, is beginning to attack and the evidence of the damage is growing every second.of ever minute that day. I will ask myself: “Did I remember to take my meds?” Then I remember: “Yes I did take my meds and they are working and doing they’re job.”

     Now, what must I do to take charge and be in control of this unexpected battle today? I was fine yesterday and felt reasonably well this morning.  First thing is STOP and take a deep breath. I am an adult and I don’t need permission to take a walk or just stand up and stretch and let my blood circulate for at least a couple of minutes. Nobody is perfect and I am still alive today. Let people assume what they want to about me today. I will be still be around tomorrow no matter what they think about me.         

    • Jeffs ADD Mind

      It has taken me a long time to learn how to say, “Let me think about that,” which is really my way of taking a deep breath, slowing down, and putting the brain in gear before the mouth goes wild.

      • Anonymous

        “putting the brain in gear before the mouth goes wild.” <That's the key. I can screw up a whole day of feeling good about what I have done or what I am doing if someone make a well meaning suggestion and I don't take a moment to process the information before I reply. Instead of "Let me think about that", I might say: "Oh ok,I guess I'm just too f'"ing stupid to be doing this!"

        So it really goes both ways. I become the one who is assuming that I'm being disrespected…

        • Anonymous

          I see my last comment was able to show When I clicked on post after I finished making it, all the words were scrambled around. I thought I did something wrong or my laptop was having problems.

          • Jeffs ADD Mind

            I fixed it.

  • Anonymous

    When I wrote in my comment: “Instead of “Let me think about that”, I might say: “Oh ok,I guess I’m just too f’”ing stupid to be doing this!” That’s not really as bad as it sounds. I don’t yell that or really speak it loud enough to be understood. That’s more like what I am thinking and mumbling to myself.

    • Jeffs ADD Mind

      Oh…voices in your head. Hmmmm…(hehehe)

  • Robin

    If you have ADD, don’t bother trying to make friends. They’ll eventually gett frustrated enough, and want to spend time with a genuine adult. Don’t bother dating or getting married, you’ll just drive them into a support group for those unfortunate to be partnered with people like us.

    • Gizmorn555

      I’m brand new to this blog – first visit tonight. All I can say is I would be your friend! I don’t have ADD, but am completely in love with a man who does – it’s gone untreated his whole life and he’s a big 40 year old mess right now. He’s got anger issues, job issues, money issues, relationship issues, lying issues, and he’s drinking to self-medicate. Most people tell me to run fast and far – with a hearty good riddance.

      But I look at him and see his intelligence, creativity, razor sharp sense of humor, and a dozen other things I love. Yep – he’s struggling, but aren’t we all? He puts up with my crap, too.

      There are people in the world who can see you as a whole human being – the good and the bad – and love you for the complete you.

    • Jeffs ADD Mind

      There’s someone out there for everyone. But it may take time to find that person.

    • simply_Sarah

      I’m 21 with ADHD. I don’t have many friends or regular friends that I see because most of the people I meet are f*>(king stupid and don’t know how to act like adults. There is the other side to your coin. Also support groups are a great thing. They are there to help you realize you’re not alone, to make friends, and help you grow and change in a positive way. Its all about how you look at things. you should look for the positive attributes ADD has given you and work on perfecting them. All of our young lives we were made to work on the stuff we were bad at. now that we are adults, we can work on the stuff we are good at; to make it better, to find peace, happiness, love, whatever it is you need. live the life you want and work through the crappy feelings, but don’t dwell on them. They’re a roadblock to happiness.

      • Jeffs ADD Mind

        Thank you so much for writing this. Support groups are definitely helpful. Heck, anything that is a group of people — it could be a reading group available through the public library — can help someone get a perspective on their situation. It’s never easy but, then, nothing worthwhile is easy.

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