A Ransom Note From The Kidnapper

(Transcription of ransom note:
I am holding you hostage
You must give in to my demands
I am not kidding
If you do not do everything I ask,
you will be mine forever)

I have given in to all your demands so why are you still holding me hostage? I did exactly what you wanted. Here’s the short list. Look at it. I did what you asked.

  1. “Drop out of school” – Did it.
  2. “Walk away from numerous career opportunities.” – Did it.
  3. “Get involved in drugs.” – Did it.
  4. “Smoke cigarettes.” – Did it for years.
  5. “Self-medicate with sex.” -  Did it. (OK…I admit…I didn’t mind doing this one.)
  6. “Be in a fog for weeks at a time.”- Did it.
  7. “Forget to pay bills.”- Did it.
  8. “Give the gift to my children”- Did it.
  9. “Get involved in hare-brained get rich quick schemes” – Did it.
  10. “Forget doctor appointments” – Did it.

Isn’t this enough for you? Now will you let me go?

You’re joking, right? You mean to tell me that you need more? Well, F-CK YOU! HERE’S MORE! HERE’S THREE YEARS WORTH OF YOUR DEMANDS DESCRIBED IN DETAIL IN THIS BLOG!

Why are you looking at me like that?

Oh. I see. You’re not going to read the blog..are you.

That’s what I thought.

So let’s stop the charade.

It doesn’t really matter what I do.

You will never let me go.

It’s not about giving in to your demands. It’s about proving how you have ultimate control. It’s about how you – ADHD – have the ultimate power over me and how you can use it any time you want and any way you want.

I may still be your hostage. You may dictate all of my actions but you still can’t stop me from saying to you, F-CK YOU! As long as I have the ability to say that whenever I want to, then someday, somehow, I’ll be able to figure out how to escape your grip.

  • http://18channels.blogspot.com Katy B.

    Brilliant. (pause) Brilliant. We all have our list, don’t we :)

  • Jeff

    Thank you. (blushes) And we can spend many months adding to that list.

  • http://addmsorboth.blogspot.com/ Scott Hutson

    Memories……of ADHD…..Some things we don’t “Forget” Jeff. The list of demands.

  • http://18channels.blogspot.com Katy B.

    What a bittersweet statement Scott :)

  • http://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-zoe/about/ Zoë Kessler

    Wow, there’s that ADHD creative mind at work again! Great concept, Jeff. Finely executed. Thank you!
    Zoë

  • http://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-zoe/about/ Zoë Kessler

    btw…are those brown splotches COFFEE?? The kidnapper must be self-medicating with Caffiene…lol!

  • http://discoveringadd.wordpress.com Jay

    Nice one, Jeff.

    Here’s to hope for the future.

  • Jeff

    Things really do improve for an ADHDer. If you persevere, you’ll see improvement. But there are days when, damn it, I wish I just didn’t have ADHD at all.

  • http://discoveringadd.wordpress.com Jay

    Hold on, Jeff. Are you saying that there are also days where you don’t mind having it? Is ADHD a gift on those days?

    :)

  • Jeff

    Like any good ADHDer…I know how to engage in self-delusion. ;)

  • Zenkat

    I do believe theres an app for that! :-)

  • Anonymous

    But Jeff, it really isn’t that bad. Just think…”Patty Hearst” or “folks who vote….here in america”. Hope that helps by giving you some perspective.

  • http://jeffsaddmind.com Jeffs ADD Mind

    Yes…a sort of Stockholm Syndrome…but a part of me refuses to bond with my captor.

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