Jeff's ADD Mind

Latest ADD-Related Posts

Negativism vs Pessimism

It is a common mistake to conflate “being negative” with “being pessimistic.” To me, being negative means being realistic, it means being faithful to the lived experience, it means acknowledging what should be obvious to all. If “being negative” becomes the sole purpose of one’s life, now you are moving into the realm of pessimism. But to acknowledge that the ADHD life is a set of struggles and triumphs is to acknowledge the reality of life. Almost all of my output on my blog is meant to be an acknowledgment and externalization of the struggles of the ADHD life so that it does not turn into pessimism. Interestingly, I find that “being negative” does not take a lot of energy. It is liberating. It acknowledges the struggles and allows for...

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Renaming ADHD: Sonofabi#!@F*%K@%SHOLE Disorder

Glen Hogard, an ADHD coach, posted the following on FaceBook: [...] I do know I support Chuck Parker’s (and Barkley’s) new suggestion for a name for ADHD. EFD or “Executive Function Disorder”. Sure, I’d prefer difference, but if we want those accomodations [sic] we’d better stick with disorder; which it is in the hostile linear environments in which we must perform. (Thursday, January 19, 2012 at 8:30am) To which I replied: EFD? Maybe. Captures a little bit more of the essence of the problem. However, I suggest the following as a new name for ADHD: Sonofabi#!@F*%K@%SHOLE Disorder I just haven’t figured out how to pronounce it.   Print PDF

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Adult ADHD and Loneliness, Part II

Based on the comments and emails I’ve received in response to the post on ADHD and loneliness (see: ADHD and Loneliness), I feel it’s necessary to clarify and amplify a few points. My observations were based on discussions I’ve had with other ADHDers, which means it’s a very small sample size and not at all scientific. As I noted in the comments, the “loneliness” did not necessarily apply to me. (More on this later in the post.) Many of us have different types of friendships based on different factors: work friends; common interest friends (e.g., hobby; sports; college); common geography friends (how’s that for a fancy way of saying “your neighbors”); life-mate friend (which may or may not be legally recognized through marriage), etc. I...

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Adult ADHD and Loneliness

Simple Observation: Adult ADHDers usually have no friends. I have not done any study on this phenomenon nor have I consulted the Google Oracle for wisdom. I base this observation purely on anecdotes, on conversations I’ve had with numerous adult ADHDers who have told me that for most of their life they had no friends. That is, they had (and often still have) no one who understood them, to whom they could open up, with whom they could “let their hair down” (metaphorically, of course). I hope that those who have been diagnosed at a young age and are fully aware of their ADHDness can somehow avoid the loneliness experienced by some late-diagnosed ADHDers. [CLICK HERE for Part II of ADHD and Loneliness]   Print PDF

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The Story We Tell Ourselves

…we can be blind to the obvious, and we are also blind to our blindness. – Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow Everyone has a story to help them understand themselves and their relationship to the world. It is their personal explanation of who they are and why they do the things they do. It is their mental comfort food. They repeat the story to themselves when they are confronted with something unknown or with a story that conflicts with theirs. The Late Diagnosed ADHDer (Ltd-ADHD) — an ADHDer who was not diagnosed for twenty or more years — may create a story that contains extraordinary leaps of logic in order to explain, in a logical manner (or at least in a consistent manner) why they stand outside of the “accepted” norm. Most of the disagreements I’ve...

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Marko Ferek and the Holy Trinity of Self-Delusion

For years I assumed that everyone could see the things that I could see. Wasn’t it obvious that our lives are shaped by hundreds of years of history? Wasn’t it obvious that luck is an essential part of success? Wasn’t it obvious that the education system has less to do with “educating” and more to do with creating disciplined workers? The blank stares, the puzzled head cock — like the way a dog cocks its head to the side when it can’t understand something (see Inside of a Dog) — the “what the hell are you talking about” responses, made me realize that the obvious wasn’t obvious. No one saw what I saw. In an English literature course in my second year of college, we were discussing e e cummings anyone lived in a pretty how town. Someone...

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